Aljo-Log

How I feel as if women are from another planet, and that this is deliberately being done to me. As it is I am not free to think and do things the way I would want to do so myself. I sometimes wonder if I am starting to suffer from Alzheimer. This isn’t due to bad luck that I got all these health problems, these problems were deliberately done to me, by people who deny me my happiness, freedom and good health. It seems like the Netherlands government is deliberately making sure I am alone so that other Dutch people will be stimulated to be with someone and start a family. When I was in my twenties none of my local friends even had a girlfriend, because I think now, the Dutch government made sure of this. How the girls I knew all were indoctrinated to reject me and my friends, that they didn’t want to go steady, they only wanted to get married. And that these girls knew the Netherlands government made sure that I would never be with a steady girlfriend. So then I fell in love with a local girl who liked me too. When it turned out to be mutual the Dutch changed their tune saying I was not allowed to marry my first girlfriend. How the father of my high school sweetheart didn’t want me to be with his daughter if she was my first girlfriend ever. (This is what I conclude now.) While I was very much in love with this girl, that I couldn’t even think about other females. There must have been people all along who could remotely control me and who didn’t allow me to be with a woman. I wonder if these people are the Dutch government or some other organization. That after I got older these people made sure I would become unattractive and lose my good health to such an extent that a relationship would become totally impossible. Because these people envied me this. That my misery is only needed to make others feel love, as if I am a scapegoat. This is really unfair and very wrong. How the Netherlands television – which I don’t watch – is all over me, with a program titled ‘Dear Paul’, as if I ever got a ‘Dear Aljo’ letter from a Dutch woman! I did get lots of love letters from my American and Philippine female pen-pals. Something the Dutch always denied me.

Aljo_

How on Dutch television they stigmatize me as being a homosexual who isn’t allowed to get married or even have any children. I am not a homosexual but it wouldn’t surprise me if the Netherlands government will make sure I will never get married. This is pretty serious, how evil can you be denying someone to get married? Of course these people are only envying me my freedom. Like how I would never let my children be baptized. This must be the reason why the Dutch totally made my relational situation impossible over all these years. As it is I no longer care for The Netherlands anymore, but that with my pacemaker I am unable to leave here for good. It wouldn’t surprise me if the Dutch authorities deliberately caused my heart condition in order to be able to take away my freedom.

Aljo_

Today is February 2nd 2010, which means that the Dutch Crown Prince and Princess Maxima have been married for 8 years! Their wedding date is easy to remember it was 2/2/2002. I wish the Royals happiness. The other bit of good news I read today was that Australian billionaire James Packer and his wife got a newborn son today, they already have a daughter. This is really nice that wealthy people get the opportunity to have a family. Me and my family aren’t rich and we are unable to reproduce, but that when you are worth so much money that it is really important to have kids who can then inherit the family fortune.

Aljo_

Lately I get confronted with pressure, how it feels as if my head is about to explode. I reckon there are people who are frustrated by me switching off the Dutch television news after 5 minutes today because I preferred to listen to Tasmanian radio, which is a pleasant experience. A shrink is never going to believe you when you try to explain that people are subjecting you to psychological pressure. Not because he thinks it is impossible but because he doesn’t want to have to consider the answer to the question: “Who is doing this to me?” Because Medical Doctors start to lie and change the subject when the conversation is dealing with a medical condition being the result of a hostile act which has deliberately been done to you. Sort of like my first delusional thoughts which I think now were all deliberately planted on my brain. All this had to do with me being interested in the American airmen on a local air base and that the Americans faced opposition from certain local nationals who were using their ability and power to make me mentally ill. Now over 20 years later it is becoming clear of what the Dutch authorities have done to me, that they realize they are never going to get me back! I mean, I have a house and a wife in Tasmania, so it is not like as if I’ve got nowhere to go. But that the Dutch gave me a pacemaker to make sure I could never fly away anymore. How me and my Australian wife have known each other for over 10 years, when she was 29 and I was 32, and that she wrote me she wanted to get married and have children, which didn’t happen so now she is devoted to me and I love her too. How I feel there are people here who make me need sex in order to defeat me, it is the only thing left the Dutch can hit me with, while these people are surrounded and really no longer have the upper hand. I would be happy in Tasmania, I asked for a house there while I was there in 1997, at the time they told me they couldn’t help me. Since then Australia has become much more wealthy and has risen on the global ladder of prestige. That the Australian economy is larger than the Dutch economy while these economies used to be on par. The Australian government is planning on millions more of Australian citizens within two decades. I think about Australia every day and that the Australian government noticed, that loyalty is rewarded.

Aljo_

PS, There is a Dutch woman I would like to be with, but that the Dutch have hurt me and my relatives over me being in love with her several times, since 1994. Basically they considered her to be too pretty for me. And that the Dutch were obsessed with me and my desire to be with a pretty wife. So I never got to be in a position of being mutually in love with a Dutch female, while I was mutually in love with an American military woman.

My mind is dormant, which is very unpleasant. That somehow there are people who control me who are denying me my freedom of thought by putting my mind into sleep mode even in the waking hours. To be honest, this gets me angry, because my dormant mind won’t let me do things. How I want to read books and do some programming but that there must be people who can who deny me to do this. Try explaining this to a shrink! The only thing he will do is tell you you need a medication, while illness has got nothing to do with the state my mind is in. Bastards.

Aljo_

PS, How recently my American friends indicated to me that I live the American Dream!

When Americans talk about a ‘cougar’ they mean a woman of over age 40 who is interested in males under age 30 for a relationship. When Dutch people refer to a ‘cougar’ they mean a Royal Netherlands Air Force Cougar helicopter which used to be based on nearby Soesterberg AB where also until 1993 American F-15s were based. When I think about these facts I reckon, I am also age 40+ and that the Dutch long ago – when I was in my teens – suggested to me they would put my love life on hold if I wouldn’t leave the Americans alone. That the Dutch deliberately made me age alone because I had said on local Dutch radio in 1988 that I was interested in an American girlfriend instead of a Dutch girlfriend. No wonder the Dutch authorities hate me, even though they wouldn’t have let me be with a Dutch woman either.

Aljo_

For years now I feel how my consciousness isn’t my own, that there are people who control my thinking process and are currently erasing my memory. Surely there must be people who know what is really wrong with me. That the shrinks who treated me over the years must have realized I wasn’t a regular mental patient. I am like a zombie, that my soul is dead but my body is alive. Maybe some country developed this as a biological weapon to make God live on earth, that I am in the afterlife which is needed to be able to stop all wars. That terrorists aren’t criminals but people who would start a war. John Lennon sings: “Join the Human race.” And that there is no way for me to do so. How the people who control me are stealing my time, that they need me as a zombie and that this will cost years without me being able to live my own life. I hate The Netherlands so badly, I really can’t stay here. How there is no Dutch radio station I can listen to, especially when I cannot sleep at night and that this is all deliberate. For about 6 months I no longer listen to Dutch radio but to an Internet radio instead, that I thought I would miss Dutch radio but that now I feel happy to be able to totally forget about Dutch radio. I am like a horse with a rider, and that this person controls my consciousness so if this rider is Dutch, then the Dutch government should be able to set me free…

Aljo_

It is becoming clear to me that my chronic health conditions – I’ve got three – cannot be attributed to bad luck, which I no longer believed anyway. Instead the Dutch government deliberately made sure that I would no longer be able to go outside by myself! But not for what I did, but because of what they feared me to do. I no longer identify myself with the Netherlands, because I was denied a love life and I was kicked off university. Even though all this was over 20 years ago, the reason why the Dutch took my good health and freedom was because they couldn’t deal with the fact that President Reagan wanted to become friends with me. That the Dutch made me choose between my Dutch love interest and being friends with the Americans. Even though I reckon the Dutch would never have let me complete a Masters Degree in university anyway so the easiest solution for them was to deny me to study. The point was they needed a reason why I could no longer study so they told me I was delusional. Thinking back to when I was delusional I realize that these delusional thoughts were in fact planted on my brain by the people who didn’t want me to be friends with the local Americans. Sooner or later I would find out the truth. So a mental condition alone would not have been enough to restrain me, so these people decided I needed a heart condition too. The Dutch government expected me to become lonely and in need of female companionship, that this way they could defeat me. After I dropped out of university I got to know several American military women, this changed me, I no longer was interested in Dutch female university students because I never got to know a single female student. This didn’t work for the Dutch. So the Dutch gave me a third chronic condition to deny me basic freedom. That I am being treated as a convict by the Dutch authorities. All this comes down to how the Dutch totally ruined my life and cannot accept defeat so they socially isolate me and deny me my independence to care for myself. That my pacemaker renders me unable to fly, so that I couldn’t move to Australia or to the USA. How Dutch finance minister Wouter Bos recently referred to my 48th birthday, to hurt my morale that I would comply with Dutch demands. While I feel so good listening to English language radio, that I know for sure that my future isn’t in The Netherlands and that my powerful foreign friends will have to tell the Dutch government to set me free. Nobody is above the law, and nobody had the right to hurt me this badly. I rest my case.

Aljo_

PS, The ‘Sexy Bitch’ American rapper Akon raps about refers to a woman you really like mutually with a sexual relationship, but whom is envied to you by others and thus is referred to as a bitch…

Again the songs I voted for in the Hottest 100 for 2009 did really well!

Aljo_

This picture made me feel good, for personal reasons, but I am not going to tell why.

Aljo_