Aljo-Log

Archive for the ‘Love’ Category

Getting to know women romantically can be a lot like taming lions. How it never occurred to me that a woman could take your hair under certain circumstances. In high school I was well known that I was like a spitting image. But there were no Dutch girls I met I could be friends with. So I fell in love with an American military woman. I even said on Amersfoort’s local radio station in 1988 that I found American women more interesting than Dutch women. So when I traveled to Belgium and Germany to meet American military radio people that the Dutch government and shrinks who controlled me made me addicted to cigars, as a result my teeth were no longer white and this then enabled certain women to take my hair. How these Dutch females knew I was like ‘brand new’, but that they preferred to be considered my ex and take my hair. Because the Dutch had made sure I would only meet Dutch women who weren’t interested in me. For this reason I am no longer interested in The Netherlands. Because these shrinks, the clergyman, these government officials, all wanted me to go bald. While I was totally unable to control myself because I was like a horse with a rider on it. As I am writing this I see clouds in my vision this is due to intense sunlight which damaged my eyes. While under normal circumstances this shouldn’t even be possible. How my bent back used to be a deal breaker where relationships are concerned. But now I reckon I am no longer physically able to make love to a woman because my body is starting to show signs of aging. When these Dutch shrinks realized I was never going to be like a real Dutchman ever again, that they put a geriatrist on my case, and this medical specialist must have had permission to plot the course which then led to my heart condition and my weak legs next to my mental condition. How I was ‘programmed’ to consider all girls ugly, even though women of the 1980s were unattractive compared to how girls are now. The nice girls in high school had all been removed from our school in the third grade. In university I only saw about 3 to 5 different female students who weren’t really interesting, and that I wondered why I didn’t get to meet any Dutch females who were similar to me. Maybe those female students were all gold diggers and that I wasn’t from a wealthy family. Or maybe the Dutch government made sure I wouldn’t meet any Dutch women I liked. One of my American love interests is called Beth and that there is a television show on American TV titled ‘Ugly Betty’. That all my adolescent and adult life the government made sure I would not meet any female with whom I could fall mutually in love with because they didn’t want a society where there were desired and undesired females. How Dutch script writers for soap drama television shows must know a lot about me to use as inspiration for what the characters in these shows do. How I have become really unattractive and plain over the past 15 years, and that this was all intentional. This is why I am dreaming of Vanessa in Launceston Tasmania the place I one day want to be, even though I am totally unable to live a normal life as it is in The Netherlands. But that it was the Dutch government who decided to let a geriatrist take me apart. That because of my truly honest affection for my American military friends, the Dutch government made sure I would never have my own family. That the Americans came up with ‘Ugly Betty’ is something I find in one word: ‘evil’.
Aljo_

Lately I feel as if there are people who are trying to push me over the edge into a delusion. Because people are realizing that I am not a mental patient but that the government is manipulating me. My legs hurt so bad, my heart hurts and I see things which aren’t there. The past month I have been thinking about how I wish to start a family but that long before I ever got sick the Dutch government had decided I needed to live like an animal. Sometimes I wonder if my heart condition isn’t only intended to give the Dutch crown prince a sense of power. How the Princess Beatrix Fund is for research into and treatment of muscle disorders, and because of the fact that I started to alienate from Dutch society that the Dutch gave me this muscle condition next to my heart and mental conditions. For my heart condition I need exercise. But due to my weak legs I am unable to go outside and walk. How lots of people everywhere are suddenly thinking about starting families because I am unable to even have a normal love life. I don’t deserve to be punished like this. Powerful people in church decided long ago that I would never be with a Dutch woman. So when I became involved with American military women that these people destroyed my good health. It is easy for the Dutch to make sure I don’t meet any woman I would like. I find my desire to become an Australian really legitimate. My problem is that the Dutch government is forcing me into a situation which denies me my freedom, freedom to make my own decisions and the freedom to be mutually in love. I figure these people control my consciousness that they can manipulate everything about me. In high school my fellow students saw me as the teacher’s toy. In university I was also not part of a peer group because the government must have ordered my fellow students how to treat me and what to say to me. Everything I ever learned, if it was math or guitar playing is being erased from my mind. When I was in primary school I noticed that I wasn’t able to remember the names of streets in my hometown. So these people who control my mind must have been doing so ever since I was age 6 or 7. It seemed like I wasn’t allowed to live a normal life that I was treated like as if I were a royal but that I wasn’t really a royal so the Dutch government denied me a love life. My high school sweetheart played a significant role in this. That she was out of reach for me because she was in a lower grade. We never even talked; still I was expected to remain true to her for years without having any clue as to how she felt about me. This situation must have had to do with the royals too. That the teachers in school kept all girls away from me because of government orders. This is a good reason to want to immigrate to Australia. I followed classes at an Australian college in 1984 and that these young adults had love lives something the people in my Dutch college considered ‘abnormal’. My Dutch college was a Christian school and that this must have been the justification for denying me a love life. As long as I didn’t pray and didn’t attend church that these people would deny me a partner either inside or outside of the church. They were able to do this to me, so they did. My life is a mess because of the Dutch government denying me my freedom and good health, and I feel they don’t have the right to do this to me. These people will do anything to save the church. And hold on to their power.
Aljo_

I am being held captive in The Netherlands, these people won’t even let me do my own thinking. I have decided that my future is in Australia, even though I wouldn’t know how I am ever going to make it to Australia physically. Also my pacemaker is a problem, but that they could give me an Australian pacemaker. The idea alone that there were people who deliberately caused my heart condition makes me feel that I am not safe in The Netherlands. I really no longer have any business with The Netherlands, this isn’t my home, and I hate it here. I would like to try living in Australia. Even though I am not able to work for a living, but that I generate revenue. The Dutch government and health care people are only trying to demolish me. I am thinking about Nessie my Australian girlfriend since 1999 and all the Dutch females the Dutch denied to me. In 1999 I met three Australian women on the Internet one of whom was Nessie and that within a few weeks it became clear that we were both in love with each other. I am sure Nessie will be waiting for me. I don’t know any Dutch women, and I don’t care. I want to be with Nessie in Tasmania. And this is where I see my future. Because the Dutch would never give me the opportunity to be in a mutual relationship with a Dutch female like I am in a relationship with Nessie. To the Dutch I am just a mental patient, because they are denying me a normal life, because they are using me to manipulate Dutch society. To be able to punish youths for doing things differently from what the government wants and approves of. I would be happy in Tasmania, while in the Netherlands I would always be wondering ‘Why am I here anyway?’.
Aljo_

PS, I am not trying to say that Nessie should have put her life on hold for me for a decade. I would probably never be living in Tasmania. But the fact alone that the Dixie Chicks refer to Nessie in one of their songs sure makes me realize that Nessie and me are compatible. So if we would have met in say 2000 that we could have been in a real relationship in Tasmania!

Until about age 26 I looked good, and that I must have been special, so lots of girls I knew must have been in love with me. But that now I realize that being in love as a male requires a totally different strategy. My strategy to get a girlfriend was in one word ‘girlish’. It is suggested that these girls actually fought over me. Even though none of them was willing to risk becoming my ex. The church also had a role in this matter, that the church made sure I would remain single if I would abandon the church – which I did -. So I couldn’t get a Dutch girlfriend because these girls wouldn’t admit to me that they liked me. So I fell in love with an American military woman, who probably liked me too, but I mean if the Dutch wouldn’t let me be with a Dutch girl, I wouldn’t stand a chance of being with an American woman either! When I got to meet several American females I totally forgot about Dutch women. The Americans realized that looks were very important to me. So the Americans suggested that I wouldn’t find an attractive woman with them and that they considered me unattractive. Thinking back after 20 years to this time makes me realize that with me being on medication for delusions, and the fact that the Dutch made me addicted to cigars because I was with the Americans, that there was no way I could have kept my good looks. So what the Dutch and Americans did was hook me up with a Dutch girl who was very much in love with me – like obsessed – to find out how long she would be true to me. While I thought I was in a mutual relationship with a girl I chose. In the meantime both these girls were with someone else, but that I couldn’t realize this and change my mind, besides I didn’t meet any other women I could have fallen in love with. So these girls were really in love with me, and I wasn’t allowed to have a physical relationship with the girl I thought I was with. That the people who treated my mental condition must have known she wasn’t mine because of objections by the church and the government. But that these mental health care providers wanted me to keep thinking of this girl I wouldn’t get because they needed me in this predicament in order to make me bald, make me old and unattractive. Still it has been over 15 years since I last saw this girl I thought I had a mutual relationship with, and that I am still in love with her. This situation is really unfair. It is easy for the government to deny someone a love life, and that the church was able to see to it that no parents would want me to be with their daughter. My mental condition – which was probably done to me for political reasons – turned me into an outcast, even before I ever had to take pills that the people who controlled me had decided that I would become a mental patient because my freedom to live my life the way I would have wanted was denied to me. While in an Australian college in 1984, the staff had soon figured out that I lacked a peer group in The Netherlands. That a love life was denied to me because the government and the church wanted to control society. These days I am mostly thinking about female friends in Tasmania and Ontario. Maybe if I hadn’t been so special, less girls would have wanted me, and I would have been exposed less, and might have been able to be with a fellow university student. But my mind wasn’t free, that no matter what girl I met, my first impression would almost always be “ugly.”  (As if it were a programmed response.) I met very few girls, and the Americans were friends only. I must know a lot about female beauty but that this is about perfection, the odds are remote that you find the perfect partner. The idea is that you grow together and adapt to each other, instead of being perfect from the start.
Aljo_

When you are in love with a girl you are probably not the only one. And that attractive girls don’t stand a chance to be true with all the offers they get from guys who want to have sex with them. If you want to be with the love of your life, you need to make friends with the people she trusts and listens to. Like parents, teachers, the coach of her sports team. That you should convince these people that you are worth being her man. Letting her know you like her a lot and being true is what I did and it got me nowhere. My high school love was only needed to keep me single because the Dutch denied me a love life or a peer group. So I fell in love with an American military woman. I am still fascinated by how after all these years she is still special to me. I also got to know Australian women and I liked them. Or Canadian women who threw themselves at me. I got to like foreign women, that I don’t feel like I missed out on love and romance what the Dutch had intended to do to me. That the Dutch wanted me to be age 40+ and being seduced by Dutch 14 year olds in order to be able to convict me for pedophilia. I wonder what I did which made the Dutch try to do this to me. Maybe I rejected the Queen, that is about the only reason I can come up with. The Dutch have been observing me and ruining my social life for as long as I can remember, but why were they so interested in and obsessed by me? Could it be because the US President showed an interest in me? Which made the Dutch so jealous that they vowed to not let me be part of Dutch society and be friends with the President at the same time. If you cannot get a girl you want where you are, go look somewhere else.
Aljo_

There are two opposites: 1) More versus Less and 2) Slow versus Fast. I pondered this for years and I have realized that ‘more’ means sex before marriage, more specifically sexual intercourse for fun. While ‘less’ means sex because of love in a steady relationship. ‘Slow’ means sex between two people, where ‘fast’ means masturbation alone. These things might seem at first to have nothing in common other than that these are opposites. Still if you believe in God that he will explain this to you.

Aljo_

Here are the lyrics of a Randy Travis song, titled: A Little Bitty Crack In Her Heart.

Shattered inside and scattered around
Were pieces of her broken heart
I gathered her up, the pieces I found
I put her back together like a busted guitar
But some glue holds and some glue don’t  In spite of everything I tried
Somebody’s stole my darlin’
Right before my very eyes

He didn’t walk, talk or push his way in
Or fly through the windows on a gust of hot wind
He didn’t sprout wings
And he sure wasn’t playin’ no harp
As low as he was, I couldn’t see him
Slitherin’ around in the dark
He must’ve crawled through
A little bitty crack in her heart

Copin’ with hone and hoping i’m wrong
But I sure see a definite change
There’s look in her eyes that’s sayin’ goodbye
And her snuggle when I hold her don’t feel the same
The way her heart beats for that sneaky thief
You would picture him dark and tall
But the feller that stole my darlin’
Lord, he’d have to be very small

He didn’t walk, talk or push his way in
Or fly through the windows on a gust of hot wind
He didn’t sprout wings
And he sure wasn’t playin’ no harp
As low as he was, I couldn’t see him
Slitherin’ around in the dark
He must’ve crawled through
A little bitty crack in her heart

As low as he was, I couldn’t see him
Slitherin’ around in the dark
He must’ve crawled through
A little bitty crack in her heart
Lord, he must’ve craweled through
A little bitty crack in her heart

You Know Me Better Than That Lyrics
Artist(Band):George Strait

Baby since you left me there’s somebody new
She thinks I’m perfect I swear
She likes my body, my class, and my charm
She says I’ve got a confident air
She respects my ambition, thinks I’m talented too
But she’s in love with an image time is bound to see through
Oh,

Chorus:
You know me better than that
You know the me that gets lazy and fat
How moody I can be
All my insecurities
You’ve seen me lose all my charm
You know I was raised on a farm
Oh she tells her friends I’m perfect
And that I love her cat
But you know me better than that

I miss picnics and blue jeans and buckets of beer
Now it’s ballet and symphony hall
I’m into culture clean up to my ears
It’s like wearin’ a shoe that’s too small
Oh I caught her with an issue of brides magazine
Starin’ at dresses and pickin’ out rings
But,

Chorus

Oh she tells her friends I’m perfect
And that I love that cat
Oh, but you know me better than that

This is a German actress named Rike Schmid, I saw her on ZDF in the Fernsehfilm der Woche, titled ‘Augenzeugin’. This is a beautiful woman! I wonder if her hair is really blond or if it was colored. I hope to see this actress more often on TV!

Aljo_

“Die falsche Kleidung, die falsche Meinung, die falsche Entscheidung…” This is a line from a song which I heard on German radio. Translated into English it means: “The wrong clothing, the wrong opinion, the wrong decision.” I think this is about my high school sweetheart who wanted to be friends with other guys than me because these guys went to downtown bars in the weekends, which I didn’t do. That for this reason she told her friends about how everything was wrong about me. I never really realized this when I was 17 years old. Because nobody wanted to tell me how she felt and if I had a chance. Looking back I reckon the Dutch wanted to deny  us to be Ronald and Nancy Reagan. How my high school sweetheart was like Country singer LeAnn Rimes, and that LeAnn isn’t a bitch. Every girl wants to be like LeAnn Rimes. I couldn’t understand why my high school sweetheart didn’t want me. But now I realize that the teachers, fellow pupils and Dutch politicians wouldn’t let me be the person I was. Truth is that a girlfriend was denied to me because the Dutch wanted to contain me and humiliate me, because I was interested in American culture and politics. This was long before I ever became a mental patient. It is like that George Strait song: “You’ve got to have an ace in the hole, a little secret that nobody knows.” How the Dutch are socially isolating me, that they want me to kill myself or lose my virginity to some woman I don’t like. If this were the truth surely I would have a right to leave the Netherlands if some other country would want to have me.

Aljo_