Aljo-Log

Archive for the ‘Unbelieveable’ Category

Last week there was a man on German television whose name was Fidel Helmer, I knew he existed but I cannot remember what organization he is a part of and why he was on the television news. If you were to translate this name into English it would literally be: ‘loyal helmet’. That I have been made bald because the Netherlands government didn’t want to let me go and move to some other country. That the Dutch made me bald because they wanted to be sure that I would be loyal. Not to mention the other even more famous Fidel, Cuba’s Fidel Castro. I think ‘castro’ translates into castrated. That the Netherlands government castrated me to make sure I would not leave. As you can understand the Netherlands government is obsessed with my freedom, that they made my life here almost totally impossible. Still it is their own fault because they made sure I would not have a love life, because I wasn’t part of a peer group, in fact I was teased away by Dutch radio and this is why I fell in love with an American woman and then got to the conclusion that America is a much more interesting country than The Netherlands. That when the Dutch realized they wouldn’t get me back, that they acted to make me loyal again. Even though having been made bald deliberately won’t make me love this place.
Aljo_

I notice how my memory is being destructed. I reckon the Netherlands government denies me to  learn the German language by viewing German television. That I listen very little Dutch radio. I identify myself with Americans and Germans. This made the Dutch government mad so they decided to erase the memories of my youth, of my American friends and of my foreign radio and television experiences from my mind. I am sure there are people who are deliberately doing this to me. Talking to a shrink won’t help, because if the government is trying to destroy my memory that he isn’t going to fix it.
Aljo_

PS, The reason why I am having to put up with all this memory loss is because the government doesn’t want me to remember who hurt me. That I am in my right for hating Dutch radio for constantly hurting my feelings. The government wants me to listen to Dutch radio anyway so they make me forget unpleasant memories as if they never happened. That the government wants the truth to be that the people on Dutch radio don’t know me and never refer to me, let alone having hurt my feelings. Miserable bastards!

PPS, The people who control me want me to forget what I learned over the years, like the way I think, and how I function by what information I try to remember to be really good at what I am doing. It is as if my identity is being erased.

My mind is in dream mode, in order to enable other people to remotely control me. That I am like the ball in a game of soccer and that a game without a ball is pointless. But that as long as I remain ‘the ball’ that I am not free to think and act according to my own free will. I wonder why the Dutch government isn’t waking me up so that I can go on with my life, all this has been going on for over two decades, and my life is going to hell. Living in a dream renders me unable to make my own decisions, and that I want my ability to think freely back ASAP! The government – or whoever is doing this to me – is stealing my time! This is wrong! This has to stop! The Americans told me that this would take a long time, but that I am sure that it isn’t necessary for me to have so many (health) problems. By the time they finally wake me up the best years of my life will have passed and I can’t go back in time.
Aljo_

I am unable to ride a bicycle because  I cannot think about the traffic. That when I am confronted with a car which has the right of way that I am unable to control myself to stop and let the car pass.  That for starters I am  unable to realize there actually is a car, then I am unable to decide I need to stop and finally my mind is unable to order my legs to stop pushing the pedals or even apply the brake. This is no delusion, this is no symptom of mental illness this is being done to me by people who control my consciousness. How in the world is it possible that there are people who are in fact able to control my thinking process? Shrinks are never going to even consider this as being a possibility even if they know it is the truth. I reckon the government is responsible for this, or maybe the American Department of Defense. So no wonder no Medical Doctor is going to heal or even treat me. There are people who wanted to ruin my life for decades and the government wasn’t going to stop them. I don’t belong in The Netherlands anymore, so I am being held hostage indefinitely, and this jail is mental I can only think and move within a restricted area that certain people will allow. There are people who can generate thoughts and block thoughts on my mind. This is controlled and no symptom of some mental illness. I saw this television show about how the US Military used telepathy to gather intelligence from the Soviet Union. It was really convincing that this actually worked. So maybe it is possible to control someone remotely. It is not that I lack control over my thoughts, I clearly notice that my thoughts are not generated by myself. 

Aljo_

I think my cardiologist knows why I need a pacemaker but that he cannot tell me because it was deliberately done to me and a Medical Doctor doesn’t want to have to deal with ‘whom did what to whom and why’. Especially if the government has got something to do with it. The Medical Doctors who diagnosed my muscle condition must have known what caused it, but that it was also intentionally done to me and that it was Dutch government policy. My pacemaker is only needed to hold me captive in The Netherlands, because the Dutch government must have realized that I wanted to leave for Australia and that Australia would have let me in. This makes me think of the Berlin Wall, that governments do fence their people in, but that the DDR was a dictatorship which the Netherlands isn’t. I feel it isn’t justifiable what the Netherlands government did to me. That I have every right to leave The Netherlands. But that this would be a slap in the face of the government and that the Australian government wouldn’t want to be responsible for humiliating the Dutch government. As a citizen you would want to know if your home country is willing and able to ruin your life if they felt like it. I am not convinced that what happened to me in The Netherlands couldn’t have happened to me in Australia. Because I have a global reputation and that there must be lots of global players who would be able to ruin my life being an Australian. Still it would be much more difficult for anybody to hurt me if I would be living in Australia. All I would want is to live a life with a wife I would love and in freedom to control my own destiny. That the Dutch turned me into a mental patient and denied me a normal life for far too long. That I am in fact remotely controlled and that I am deliberately being kept unable to concentrate. Because the Dutch deny me to think about programming or anything else which would require concentration for that matter. My situation where my health is concerned is artificially being kept this way because the Dutch government is denying me my freedom. And this is the truth.
Aljo_

How there must be people who are employed as mental health care workers who consider me a lonely person. The reason why I am lonely isn’t my mental health, but my physical health. That the reason I am so socially isolated is because the Dutch ruined my physical health to a point where I am no longer able to go outside by myself anymore. Because if I should fall that I won’t be able to get back on my feet by myself anymore. Also my heart sometimes beats irregularly which is very scaring to a point that I wonder if I can remain on my feet. If I were free to go outside I would not be interested in The Netherlands, I would go look for a way to leave the country. Because I no longer enjoy Dutch television or Dutch radio. Dutch television is all over me, that people are continuously being informed about me, so Dutch people know a lot of personal information about me, this is no good to me, this gets me nowhere. Dutch radio has a new music format which I don’t like at all. Dutch radio annoys me with songs I simply don’t want to hear, and there is no competition between Dutch radio stations, if you don’t like one station you will like none of them. I feel that I like Australian and Canadian radio much better than Dutch radio. The Dutch government must have realized this and have ordered to socially isolate me. So that I would get lonely and want to return to The Netherlands. I feel, I no longer belong in The Netherlands, but my health is so bad that I cannot move to another country either. Besides the Dutch would never let me leave anyway, they consider me like property. How I am totally unable to concentrate to read a book or a magazine, because the Dutch want me to experience loneliness and isolation, and they deny me the fun I would have if I could spend my days doing something I enjoyed and which would interest me. As I wrote several times before my freedom of thought is being denied to me. That thinking about computers at an academic level is something the Dutch government envies me. That if I didn’t have this rider who is deliberately blocking my mind that I would be able to understand the information in books about computers. I was thinking, back in the early 1990s when my shrink had told me I would never study again and that I should find a job, that I could have found a nice job with an American corporation because I am friends with President Bush Senior. That this was even worse to the Dutch who controlled me, so they gave me a heart condition. The Dutch deliberately made me addicted to cigars which caused me so much trouble. Only because I was friends with the local American airmen who were based on nearby Soesterberg Air Base. I never was part of a Dutch peer group. Not in high school not in university. This must have been due to the Dutch government manipulating my social life. It must be relatively easy for a government to socially isolate a citizen, but I do have friends outside of The Netherlands whom the Dutch government has no control over.  So the Dutch gave me a muscle condition to take my freedom away from me. What the Dutch are doing to me cannot be justified. First they deliberately made me ill, then they tell me they cannot cure my condition which nobody else has and for which they don’t have a clue about as to how I got it to begin with, “It’s for genetic reasons.”, yeah right! Crooked Vultures.
Aljo_

PS, This is posting 666 on my weblog.

How adversity is the main reason for people to believe in God and seek comfort in Jesus Christ. When you live a life that  is free of misery that religion has no use for you. That my problem with a lack of freedom of thought is needed to put pressure on me so that I will be susceptible to Christianity. When my mind refuses to think – which is about all the time – that I can only think about Jesus. So then I start to curse, but that cursing is not enough and these people who are doing this to me make my situation so bad that instead of screaming  God Damned that I start to shout ‘God Almighty in heaven!’ That there must be people who are brain washing me in order to make Christianity relevant in Dutch society. This gets me so angry! My whole life is being sacrificed in order to make other people believe again. One person – me – being sacrificed is only a small price to pay to fix the church. But of course I am not going to accept this. That I am so angry that cursing as loud as I can is no longer enough to show how I feel. I like to talk to clergymen about this, so that they can convince me of the need and use of this mission. Still The Netherlands is no longer my home.
Aljo_

There is some spirit – a soul – of someone who totally overrules my own thinking process. That I cannot anticipate and coordinate my own actions. That my memory is very bad because my rider alters all information I try to remember. This gets me really angry so I start to curse for hours on end. My consciousness is not my own, my mind obeys someone else. Someone who denies me to read books and magazines about computers. That when I try to read a few lines from my computer screen that it doesn’t arrive in my brain. I am so furious about this, because this is punishment. Punishment to confront me with Jesus. That religion is based on bad luck and adverse experiences, that when life hurts you that you will be closer to Jesus and more open to the gospel than if you live a life free of sorrow.  As I am writing this I realize that I am not composing these sentences, I am writing what my rider will let me. I am angry, I need my life back! Which was only taken away from me because the Dutch deny me a family of my own, these people wanted me to be alone and in desperate need of a relationship until I would be too old to have a child. I hate The Netherlands, this is my jail. I need my freedom back. Now I cannot even decide what I am going to say to people, as if I were a zombie. That my soul is in the afterlife and the person who controls my mind is doing all he or she can to frustrate my decision making process so that I unable to do anything the way Aljo would do it. This is a government  sponsored crime.
Aljo_

There are two opposites: 1) More versus Less and 2) Slow versus Fast. I pondered this for years and I have realized that ‘more’ means sex before marriage, more specifically sexual intercourse for fun. While ‘less’ means sex because of love in a steady relationship. ‘Slow’ means sex between two people, where ‘fast’ means masturbation alone. These things might seem at first to have nothing in common other than that these are opposites. Still if you believe in God that he will explain this to you.

Aljo_

I am starting to develop breasts, and that I cannot imagine that this is natural. Would I have been poisoned to restrict my sex drive? This sure shows that there are people with power in The Netherlands who can get away with anything! It is a nightmare to have your life being destroyed by some fundamentalist bosses of some lunatic asylum. People who are only occupied by mental patients and who lose judgment of what is normal in regular society. That there is a physical fitness centre for mental patients which is named after someone who has the Dutch surname Borsten which is Dutch for breasts. My physical fitness is so bad that I can hardly climb two stairs because my heart hurts and my legs have become too weak to support me. I am the victim of a crime!

Aljo_