Aljo-Log

Archive for the ‘Health’ Category

Getting to know women romantically can be a lot like taming lions. How it never occurred to me that a woman could take your hair under certain circumstances. In high school I was well known that I was like a spitting image. But there were no Dutch girls I met I could be friends with. So I fell in love with an American military woman. I even said on Amersfoort’s local radio station in 1988 that I found American women more interesting than Dutch women. So when I traveled to Belgium and Germany to meet American military radio people that the Dutch government and shrinks who controlled me made me addicted to cigars, as a result my teeth were no longer white and this then enabled certain women to take my hair. How these Dutch females knew I was like ‘brand new’, but that they preferred to be considered my ex and take my hair. Because the Dutch had made sure I would only meet Dutch women who weren’t interested in me. For this reason I am no longer interested in The Netherlands. Because these shrinks, the clergyman, these government officials, all wanted me to go bald. While I was totally unable to control myself because I was like a horse with a rider on it. As I am writing this I see clouds in my vision this is due to intense sunlight which damaged my eyes. While under normal circumstances this shouldn’t even be possible. How my bent back used to be a deal breaker where relationships are concerned. But now I reckon I am no longer physically able to make love to a woman because my body is starting to show signs of aging. When these Dutch shrinks realized I was never going to be like a real Dutchman ever again, that they put a geriatrist on my case, and this medical specialist must have had permission to plot the course which then led to my heart condition and my weak legs next to my mental condition. How I was ‘programmed’ to consider all girls ugly, even though women of the 1980s were unattractive compared to how girls are now. The nice girls in high school had all been removed from our school in the third grade. In university I only saw about 3 to 5 different female students who weren’t really interesting, and that I wondered why I didn’t get to meet any Dutch females who were similar to me. Maybe those female students were all gold diggers and that I wasn’t from a wealthy family. Or maybe the Dutch government made sure I wouldn’t meet any Dutch women I liked. One of my American love interests is called Beth and that there is a television show on American TV titled ‘Ugly Betty’. That all my adolescent and adult life the government made sure I would not meet any female with whom I could fall mutually in love with because they didn’t want a society where there were desired and undesired females. How Dutch script writers for soap drama television shows must know a lot about me to use as inspiration for what the characters in these shows do. How I have become really unattractive and plain over the past 15 years, and that this was all intentional. This is why I am dreaming of Vanessa in Launceston Tasmania the place I one day want to be, even though I am totally unable to live a normal life as it is in The Netherlands. But that it was the Dutch government who decided to let a geriatrist take me apart. That because of my truly honest affection for my American military friends, the Dutch government made sure I would never have my own family. That the Americans came up with ‘Ugly Betty’ is something I find in one word: ‘evil’.
Aljo_

A decade ago, when Wim Kok was Prime Minister of The Netherlands I used to shout: “Let me go Kok!” After Mr. Kok Jan Peter Balkenende became Dutch Prime Minister, so then I used to shout: “Set me free Mr. Balkenende!” All this shouting didn’t help. Because the Dutch Prime Minister doesn’t give a damn that my mind is being held hostage because he doesn’t have the power to stop these people from holding me captive, these people are simply too big for the Dutch Prime Minister. This is the main reason for me to no longer feeling at home in the Netherlands. To gag me my physical health is really bad too now. But why would certain people go to such great lengths to hold me captive? Because I offer them a link to God. That I am like a phone booth to telephone with God. This situation is incompatible with me having a love life so I am being denied a love life. But now my mental condition is getting worse, I can no longer concentrate, I cannot learn, I cannot control myself because my mind obeys someone else. And I find that it has been enough.
Aljo_

Lately I feel as if there are people who are trying to push me over the edge into a delusion. Because people are realizing that I am not a mental patient but that the government is manipulating me. My legs hurt so bad, my heart hurts and I see things which aren’t there. The past month I have been thinking about how I wish to start a family but that long before I ever got sick the Dutch government had decided I needed to live like an animal. Sometimes I wonder if my heart condition isn’t only intended to give the Dutch crown prince a sense of power. How the Princess Beatrix Fund is for research into and treatment of muscle disorders, and because of the fact that I started to alienate from Dutch society that the Dutch gave me this muscle condition next to my heart and mental conditions. For my heart condition I need exercise. But due to my weak legs I am unable to go outside and walk. How lots of people everywhere are suddenly thinking about starting families because I am unable to even have a normal love life. I don’t deserve to be punished like this. Powerful people in church decided long ago that I would never be with a Dutch woman. So when I became involved with American military women that these people destroyed my good health. It is easy for the Dutch to make sure I don’t meet any woman I would like. I find my desire to become an Australian really legitimate. My problem is that the Dutch government is forcing me into a situation which denies me my freedom, freedom to make my own decisions and the freedom to be mutually in love. I figure these people control my consciousness that they can manipulate everything about me. In high school my fellow students saw me as the teacher’s toy. In university I was also not part of a peer group because the government must have ordered my fellow students how to treat me and what to say to me. Everything I ever learned, if it was math or guitar playing is being erased from my mind. When I was in primary school I noticed that I wasn’t able to remember the names of streets in my hometown. So these people who control my mind must have been doing so ever since I was age 6 or 7. It seemed like I wasn’t allowed to live a normal life that I was treated like as if I were a royal but that I wasn’t really a royal so the Dutch government denied me a love life. My high school sweetheart played a significant role in this. That she was out of reach for me because she was in a lower grade. We never even talked; still I was expected to remain true to her for years without having any clue as to how she felt about me. This situation must have had to do with the royals too. That the teachers in school kept all girls away from me because of government orders. This is a good reason to want to immigrate to Australia. I followed classes at an Australian college in 1984 and that these young adults had love lives something the people in my Dutch college considered ‘abnormal’. My Dutch college was a Christian school and that this must have been the justification for denying me a love life. As long as I didn’t pray and didn’t attend church that these people would deny me a partner either inside or outside of the church. They were able to do this to me, so they did. My life is a mess because of the Dutch government denying me my freedom and good health, and I feel they don’t have the right to do this to me. These people will do anything to save the church. And hold on to their power.
Aljo_

I realize that with all my health problems I don’t stand a chance to make it to Australia to stay there. But I also feel how deeply unhappy I am in The Netherlands. These people deliberately gave me a heart condition and a muscle condition. One of my American friends refers to Afghanistan as ‘Mantanistan’. I would be happy and free as an American. Maybe I even qualify for Veterans Administration benefits or the Post 9/11 GI Bill. I mean with my heart condition I know by now how it feels to be wounded. My heart condition may not be caused by a gunshot wound but have been an act of war just the same. I feel sorry for not experiencing the European Dream, but that I feel the Europeans don’t have a clue as to how to make a place home. This is my honest opinion. I know what it is like and what it means to be an American. I know what it is like to live in Australia. It is pointless to let yourself be taken hostage by a government who denies you your freedom because you experience it differently. I don’t identify myself as being Dutch, because I know what it is like to be an American or an Australian, or German for that matter. When I listen to German radio I get the impression that they aren’t appreciating foreign attention. That if you don’t master the German language that they don’t want you there. I am working on my German language skills, my German little me is 7 years old, by the time I reach age 14 I should be fluent in German! While Canadian radio is very open for foreigners that it is appealing for people like me. Immigrant countries are probably mostly open to foreign cultures, and I like this. Not that I am bringing Dutch culture but that I like to learn how society is organised in such countries. How the Dutch force me in this role as if I were a monster because they cannot admit that people know me due to attention in Dutch media. That people have been gossiping about me for 25 years and that I am not allowed to benefit from this because I dropped out of university when I made a move to get to know American military people personally. How the Dutch made sure that I would go bald if I would opt for an American woman. There was no Dutch alternative for me, because the Dutch figured sooner or later I would go abroad due to personal success. This has been going on for so long and my legs, heart and mind will never be healthy again so I will never be free here anymore either. I cannot listen to Dutch radio because these people cannot deal with my fame, so I listen to Australian radio where I am just a little bit well known. My life is passing me by because the Netherlands government is denying me my self control and the job I could get. I am public property in The Netherlands and that I hate it. I have had it with the Dutch denying me a social life. These people are making sure I spend everyday alone in my room unable to do my own thinking and prescribing me pills I don’t need.
Aljo_

How my short term and longer term memory is really bad, that I cannot remember what I just did because my mind doesn’t hold on to this information. It is annoying but I feel this is being done to me for a reason. Everyday people try to hurt me, and that I would start changing due to thinking about who did what to me. But that the people who control me – like shrinks and the government – want me to become the way they want, so they erase these negative thoughts from my mind so that I accept my fate and don’t start to foster feelings of hatred. I am wanting to program my computer but that I cannot hold on to the information needed to form thoughts on my mind needed to program. I have textbooks which explain how to do the particular programming job I am interested in, but that I only need to open such a book and my head will start feeling like as if it is about to explode. I feel there are people who are deliberately denying me the ability to do any programming and it gets me really frustrated! Because this is no illness! This has been going on since 1992 when the Dutch decided I should no longer be able to think academically. It is a crime denying someone the freedom of thought. In my case a government sponsored crime.
Aljo_

How for all my life I have been boycotted where relationships are concerned. Only recently after all these years I realized that I fell in love with blond females and that the people who controlled me like shrinks and the government categorically denied me a blond partner, but that I wasn’t aware of this. In 1994 I committed to a girl I thought I was mutually in love with. She was blond and the Dutch government wanted me to be with a student which she wasn’t. This girl rejected me 5 years later. The Dutch introduced me to another woman who wasn’t blond and who wanted a relationship with me. She was my ‘B-choice’ and that it must have been the intention by the Dutch to fix this problem of all these unwanted females once and for all. I kept on thinking about this girl who had rejected me – I simply couldn’t believe it! – while I only needed to change my mind and go for Miss B-Choice, who was nice too. There was no way I could have considered Miss B-Choice as my partner, because the people who controlled me kept confronting me with deal breakers. So I wasn’t free to approach Miss B-Choice as being interested in her, because my mind kept thinking of the girl who had rejected me. To me this is proof that I don’t have freedom of thought. To be honest I would prefer an Australian or North American woman for a partner, but I am almost 45 years old so my best years have long since gone. A nice fiancée was deliberately denied to me, as if I were a war criminal. I don’t know what’s going on. But there must be a reason for this. That me rejecting Miss B-Choice was reason for the Dutch government to give me weak legs. All my health problems are for a reason.
Aljo_

I feel I have a rider who has taken over my decision making process. Unfortunately shrinks don’t believe this is possible to begin with. So they prescribe medication which doesn’t solve my problem, and which only makes things worse for me. The Netherlands government must find out who is controlling my thinking process and then neutralize him or her. First of all the Netherlands government doesn’t have the means to do this, and if they did, they wouldn’t fight for getting me free. So I keep on dreaming of one day living in Australia. My heart condition was probably only needed by the Netherlands government to deny me the freedom to travel abroad. The Dutch authorities are never going to admit this or even punish their own people, after all this was probably a governmental order. Still I am paying the price for Dutch governmental decisions which ruined my life. I have every right to immigrate abroad. Even though I figure the government is never going to let me. The Dutch secret service with its international contacts should know if there are people who can in fact remotely control other people. I mean I think my rider isn’t Dutch but maybe Russian. There is nothing the Dutch government can do to stop this. No wonder my American friends mean so much to me, if there were any people I know who could get me free again it are my American friends. I find it hard to believe that suppose if the Russian secret service would be holding me hostage that international relations between Foreign Ministers would be going on like nothing is happening. Because holding a foreign citizen captive is a serious offense. So it is highly unlikely that the Russians are holding me captive. But then who is? My local shrink?
Aljo_

Between 1989 and 1991 I smoked one cigar per hour. This led to my teeth no longer being white and this led to my hair loss. I think there were people who controlled me and who wanted to destroy my physical health. I find that the people who are responsible for my smoking addiction need to be punished, even though to the Dutch government I am just a piece of trash and the people who made me addicted to cigars probably were shrinks and that the Dutch government wanted me to smoke because I was meeting Americans from the local Air Base with whom the Netherlands government didn’t want their people to mingle with. Maybe my pacemaker situation was caused by my smoking addiction, but that no cardiologist is going to admit this, to cover for the people – like my shrink – who did this to me.
Aljo_

Due to my pacemaker and weak legs I am no longer able to go outside by myself. Medical Doctors all are saying that this is all coincidental. I don’t agree one bit. The people who control me are denying me my freedom. Because I am a male. That the women whom I know, and who are in a similar situation as me, are all over town on their bicycles. While I can’t even walk to the next block and I can’t even ride a bicycle because I cannot interact with the traffic, because my thinking process isn’t free. This must be done to me by some shrink who is trying to re-educate me, probably to improve Dutch society. In Germany one out of four teenagers needs psychological treatment. So there must be a need to re-educate young people but my life is going to hell.
Aljo_

I am confronted everyday with the fact that I am not free to control my own thinking process. So I shout: “Set me free, Prime Minister Balkenende!” Or: “Let me go Jesus!” This might seem typical behavior for a mental patient. But that over time I have come to the conclusion that my mental condition isn’t an illness but that nobody is going to fix this for me. I am being used for some mission and my delusional thoughts are generated by people who want me to be delusional. My shouting is like screaming “Help!” before going under and drowning. I no longer believe The Netherlands government is going to set me free, even if they could. How the Dutch secret service is a laugh, because my pacemaker was most likely caused by me being poisoned. That as it was I should never have smoked ever and that stopping me from smoking meant a major concession on my behalf. That it cost me my sex drive. That the Dutch ended up taking away my freedom to generate my own thoughts to make sure I wouldn’t do anything the government didn’t want. How my concentration is too bad for reading a book or doing any programming. Because I am not allowed to do this by myself. And it is only getting worse, that now I am having difficulty understanding conversation on television or on radio because I cannot remember anything. This gets me really frustrated, knowing that nobody is going to address the truth about my situation. I am willing to do my part, but I have been a monkey since 1992 and this is taking too long. That dogs start to bark and howl when you leave them alone for too long, but that I am a human being. As a human being you want to think your own free thoughts and go outside and do things. But that the Dutch government is denying me this! With my controversial history being known as a lunatic or a clinic clown that no company is going to hire me. I figure should I ever become fit for work ever again that I want to start my own business. I don’t think about this too often because I really don’t believe I will ever be in good health ever again. I think my good health was deliberately taken away from me, and it is probably irreversible. Thinking back I realize that I noticed at age 10 that I had actually two thinking processes, my own thinking process and a thinking process of an older person who helped me becoming more intelligent. But that this situation was incompatible with a love life. So I had to postpone my love life indefinitely. Currently this second thinking process has become like the thinking process of someone with Alzheimer disease. That I am unable to think effectively because I have a dominant thinking process of someone who is really old. I am only able to think as if I were a senior citizen, which is even worse than being able to think with delusions. But that this Alzheimer situation isn’t an illness in my case, because Aljo is not suffering from Alzheimer! I am subjected to this by people who want to confront me with my inability to control my own destiny. How my failing health is only intended to make me feel that these people aren’t setting me free. I wonder who these people are, and I still have a Dutch passport so if there is anybody who should know the truth it is the Dutch Prime Minister. But that the Dutch government hates me for loving Australia, Canada and America more than The Netherlands so even if the Netherlands government could set me free, they wouldn’t be in a hurry
Aljo_