Aljo-Log

Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

Yesterday the ‘television movie of the week’ was on, on ZDF (Germany’s Number Two Network). It was about a woman who had her own bookshop. But that this movie really was about relationships and how males come to depend on females where children and the household are concerned. This movie was also about how older men want younger women but that these men cannot live without their women. I really hated this movie because it was like one long commercial about how I can forget about ever starting a family because the Netherlands government manipulated me into such a situation that I am no longer able to be with a woman and a child.
Aljo_

I am being held captive in The Netherlands, these people won’t even let me do my own thinking. I have decided that my future is in Australia, even though I wouldn’t know how I am ever going to make it to Australia physically. Also my pacemaker is a problem, but that they could give me an Australian pacemaker. The idea alone that there were people who deliberately caused my heart condition makes me feel that I am not safe in The Netherlands. I really no longer have any business with The Netherlands, this isn’t my home, and I hate it here. I would like to try living in Australia. Even though I am not able to work for a living, but that I generate revenue. The Dutch government and health care people are only trying to demolish me. I am thinking about Nessie my Australian girlfriend since 1999 and all the Dutch females the Dutch denied to me. In 1999 I met three Australian women on the Internet one of whom was Nessie and that within a few weeks it became clear that we were both in love with each other. I am sure Nessie will be waiting for me. I don’t know any Dutch women, and I don’t care. I want to be with Nessie in Tasmania. And this is where I see my future. Because the Dutch would never give me the opportunity to be in a mutual relationship with a Dutch female like I am in a relationship with Nessie. To the Dutch I am just a mental patient, because they are denying me a normal life, because they are using me to manipulate Dutch society. To be able to punish youths for doing things differently from what the government wants and approves of. I would be happy in Tasmania, while in the Netherlands I would always be wondering ‘Why am I here anyway?’.
Aljo_

PS, I am not trying to say that Nessie should have put her life on hold for me for a decade. I would probably never be living in Tasmania. But the fact alone that the Dixie Chicks refer to Nessie in one of their songs sure makes me realize that Nessie and me are compatible. So if we would have met in say 2000 that we could have been in a real relationship in Tasmania!

Until about age 26 I looked good, and that I must have been special, so lots of girls I knew must have been in love with me. But that now I realize that being in love as a male requires a totally different strategy. My strategy to get a girlfriend was in one word ‘girlish’. It is suggested that these girls actually fought over me. Even though none of them was willing to risk becoming my ex. The church also had a role in this matter, that the church made sure I would remain single if I would abandon the church – which I did -. So I couldn’t get a Dutch girlfriend because these girls wouldn’t admit to me that they liked me. So I fell in love with an American military woman, who probably liked me too, but I mean if the Dutch wouldn’t let me be with a Dutch girl, I wouldn’t stand a chance of being with an American woman either! When I got to meet several American females I totally forgot about Dutch women. The Americans realized that looks were very important to me. So the Americans suggested that I wouldn’t find an attractive woman with them and that they considered me unattractive. Thinking back after 20 years to this time makes me realize that with me being on medication for delusions, and the fact that the Dutch made me addicted to cigars because I was with the Americans, that there was no way I could have kept my good looks. So what the Dutch and Americans did was hook me up with a Dutch girl who was very much in love with me – like obsessed – to find out how long she would be true to me. While I thought I was in a mutual relationship with a girl I chose. In the meantime both these girls were with someone else, but that I couldn’t realize this and change my mind, besides I didn’t meet any other women I could have fallen in love with. So these girls were really in love with me, and I wasn’t allowed to have a physical relationship with the girl I thought I was with. That the people who treated my mental condition must have known she wasn’t mine because of objections by the church and the government. But that these mental health care providers wanted me to keep thinking of this girl I wouldn’t get because they needed me in this predicament in order to make me bald, make me old and unattractive. Still it has been over 15 years since I last saw this girl I thought I had a mutual relationship with, and that I am still in love with her. This situation is really unfair. It is easy for the government to deny someone a love life, and that the church was able to see to it that no parents would want me to be with their daughter. My mental condition – which was probably done to me for political reasons – turned me into an outcast, even before I ever had to take pills that the people who controlled me had decided that I would become a mental patient because my freedom to live my life the way I would have wanted was denied to me. While in an Australian college in 1984, the staff had soon figured out that I lacked a peer group in The Netherlands. That a love life was denied to me because the government and the church wanted to control society. These days I am mostly thinking about female friends in Tasmania and Ontario. Maybe if I hadn’t been so special, less girls would have wanted me, and I would have been exposed less, and might have been able to be with a fellow university student. But my mind wasn’t free, that no matter what girl I met, my first impression would almost always be “ugly.”  (As if it were a programmed response.) I met very few girls, and the Americans were friends only. I must know a lot about female beauty but that this is about perfection, the odds are remote that you find the perfect partner. The idea is that you grow together and adapt to each other, instead of being perfect from the start.
Aljo_

When you are in love with a girl you are probably not the only one. And that attractive girls don’t stand a chance to be true with all the offers they get from guys who want to have sex with them. If you want to be with the love of your life, you need to make friends with the people she trusts and listens to. Like parents, teachers, the coach of her sports team. That you should convince these people that you are worth being her man. Letting her know you like her a lot and being true is what I did and it got me nowhere. My high school love was only needed to keep me single because the Dutch denied me a love life or a peer group. So I fell in love with an American military woman. I am still fascinated by how after all these years she is still special to me. I also got to know Australian women and I liked them. Or Canadian women who threw themselves at me. I got to like foreign women, that I don’t feel like I missed out on love and romance what the Dutch had intended to do to me. That the Dutch wanted me to be age 40+ and being seduced by Dutch 14 year olds in order to be able to convict me for pedophilia. I wonder what I did which made the Dutch try to do this to me. Maybe I rejected the Queen, that is about the only reason I can come up with. The Dutch have been observing me and ruining my social life for as long as I can remember, but why were they so interested in and obsessed by me? Could it be because the US President showed an interest in me? Which made the Dutch so jealous that they vowed to not let me be part of Dutch society and be friends with the President at the same time. If you cannot get a girl you want where you are, go look somewhere else.
Aljo_

Over the years I have been thinking about Australian women, but that once you are past age 40 that Australian women no longer are interested in you. Still, I have known Emma since 1999 and that we care about each other’s opinions and love lives. Emma is like the loyal wife who will love you forever and who you can really trust. Kate is like a retired Playmate, who has a lot of experience with love lives and what guys want. This is fun! That whatever I would want Kate or Emma can provide. That we can educate a whole new generation where relationships are concerned. If Prime Minister Kevin Rudd would hire us. I am sure we are capable. Maybe this will get me an immigrant visa for Australia! Specialized skills.

Aljo_

Why Dutch girls all rejected me. I am too old now, but when I was younger there must have been several girls who liked me. Unfortunately the Netherlands government had decided I needed to remain single past age 30. Still a relationship with me was simply too good a deal for any Dutch girl to pass up. “Little girls from Sweden dream of silver screen quotation…” That the Dutch made sure local people would always be gossiping about me. As early warning for when I would meet some girl I liked, that these girls would already know what to say to reject me. So I got a reputation including me never having been with a female. How me and my high school sweetheart were  like Ronald and Nancy Reagan, which must have made the Dutch really jealous! That there were several bands which made deal breaker after deal breaker song to make sure ‘Nancy’ wouldn’t want me. To keep American culture outside. Girls not wanting me because my penis was small, because my back was bent, anything which could be used against me. ‘Nancy’ was nice, and even though she rejected me at least three times she must have liked me. But that I wasn’t part of her peer group and that these people controlled the situation if we would be together. Of course the Dutch made sure we wouldn’t be together, with me being loyal to the Americans. So all other girls who also wanted me realized they couldn’t compete with ‘Nancy’. These other girls rejected me because they realized I could do better and that they didn’t want to run the risk of becoming my ex. Like that Sinead O’Connor song: “Nothing compares to you..” Dear Sinead: If you hadn’t rejected me, you would have been right, but you did reject me, so I never was with you, you should have realized this sooner! How parents and teachers indoctrinated these girls that sex was for marriage and that in our school there weren’t any relationships between pupils. Even though the nicest girls went out to downtown bars on Saturday nights and dropped out of school. How there were basically two types of students in my high school, those who could afford a love life and those who couldn’t. And that this had to do with money and wealth. So on the one hand the school board said our pupils aren’t sexually active, while at the same time lots of pupils did have love lives, but not in school. When I attended classes at an Australian college in 1984 that I realized that relationships are a normal part of adolescent school life. Even though there were Australian pupils who got pregnant, which happens sometimes when you are sexually active. How I must have a guardian these days because the Netherlands government denies me the freedom to control my own destiny myself, and that people like this guardian must be responsible for the fact that I couldn’t even find a Dutch partner – I would like – today if I would try. That it is government policy to keep me single, or alone. After high school I fell in love with American military women, who weren’t allowed to be in a relationship with me, even though the Americans treated me really good: “I know forever is a long long time, for a girl to put her heart on the line…” If I were free I would start a relationship with a girl I have known for a long time and whose first name starts with an E. If that were impossible I would go for Kate or Emma from Tasmania. This situation regarding my lack of a love life only came about because 30 years ago the Netherlands government had decided I wasn’t allowed to become sexually active. Why they picked me, I can only speculate, maybe because I was interested in sex at a young age. Like that Beach Boys song: “When I grow up to be a man…”

Aljo_

How cold means alone, cool means single, warm means mutual affection and hot means together (in a relationship). That when you are in love with someone that you expect that person to be single, that’s cool. Then you realize that the feeling is mutual this is warm, after that you start a relationship and this would be hot. How solid means virgin and liquid means sexually active. How people would be born in January as the new year/new life begins, and be virgins solid or frozen. So then it becomes spring and the temperatures would warm up, making you melt and become sexually active, entering summer being hot with beautiful weather, being in a relationship. How the seasons follow each other as events in most people’s lives follow each other. From being a virgin to being single to having a relationship. I find this really interesting I got this idea while viewing the German weather forecast yesterday. Just like the clouds in the sky mean something, or the differences in types of precipitation.

Aljo_

Men are supposed to be strong, so that they can carry things for their female partner. My muscles are weakened by some mysterious chronic illness which medical doctors never diagnosed before. And then my ‘tits’, I am really developing breasts as if certain people are trying to turn me into a woman. I couldn’t sleep last night so I tuned into Dutch radio only to realize that these people on local national radio are trying to confront me with the fact that I never had a girlfriend, as if I am thinking about Dutch females to begin with, these women have been kept away from me for 30 years. By now a majority of local nationals will have realized that my three chronic health conditions: 1) mental disorder, 2) heart disorder, and 3) muscle disorder have all been deliberately done to me. How the Dutch are trying to make me feel lonely and in need of sex, while I wouldn’t be in the Netherlands anymore if I only were free to go where I would want. So basically the Dutch are: 1) ruining my physical health, 2) going on and on about me on Dutch radio and television and 3) are trying to hurt my feelings whenever they get the opportunity. I don’t care for the Netherlands anymore! I was hired by the US Department of Defense in 1986 and since then The Netherlands have no longer been on my mind anymore. I mean this month I celebrate my seventh year of no longer viewing Dutch television. And where Dutch radio is concerned I only listen about one hour or less per day. I cannot understand why the Dutch media has to harass me the way they do. One thing is becoming clear to me and this is that I will never be able to live a normal free life in The Netherlands anymore. So I don’t spend much time thinking about what I am missing I am taking what I can get, abroad. Still who would be responsible for my situation? And wouldn’t the PVV the Party For Freedom by Geert Wilders be exactly the party I need to vote for?! Because Wilders knows who is responsible for my lack of freedom, this is the Dutch elite of probably high ranking civil servants in combination with some local influential shrink. This has got nothing to do with Islam or insulting people this is about people who are in charge in the Netherlands and who are denying me a normal life. The Dutch cannot get away with what they did to me.

Aljo_

Valentine’s Day is nice, but I am being held captive and that my life is totally impossible. That because my freedom is being denied to me, that there is nothing I can do with my life. I am unable to be in a relationship because I do not control my own thinking process. The female I would send a Valentine, I sent a Valentine in 1999, she replied she wasn’t single. That if I couldn’t be with her, that I would like to be with Vanessa who lives in Tasmania and that I figure we must be really compatible. But that being over age 40 that relationship websites no longer consider you like an eligible bachelor but more like a buddy. How my relational situation was deliberately made impossible for me since I was age 15. Maybe because the government needed the experience of a male who wasn’t sexually active, in order to change society. If this were true then it would make perfect sense that I never was with a woman. But should I ever get my freedom back that then I will move to Australia, even though I will always need a pacemaker so I will never be free anymore. I feel like the victim of a crime, a government sponsored crime. That these people need to get punished but who will punish the government?

Aljo_

I associate this song with Valentine’s Day – also known as Singles Awareness Day – for this year.
Sung by country singer Clint Black, titled: ‘Gulf Of Mexico’.

The Texas coastline hold her
Close just like a lady
And in their time they’ve
Weathered a storm or two.
The river feed her waters like
I feed your memory.
The deeper I go the more I’m turning blue.

The sandy beaches drift in time
And the changing tide I know
Won’t bring me back to yesterday
And the Gulf of Mexico.
The sails out on the water will
Come take you away.

When your ship comes in I know its time to go
And the waves along the seawall
Tell me nothings here to stay
And no man is an island but I’m still all alone.

I’m weighing anchors from the past
As the south winds start to blow
Sailing out of yesterday
And the Gulf of Mexico.
I’ll be sailing out of yesterday
And the Gulf of Mexico.