Aljo-Log

Archive for November, 2006

While on vacation in Australia in 1997 I suffered from some eye damage. These days I have a scar on the retina of my left eye. I wonder how this happened, because this shouldn’t be possible under normal circumstances. I figure this was deliberately done to me, because the Dutch envied my pretty eyes. It appears as if the Dutch first established which aspects about me were beautiful, like my eyes, my hair, my teeth, and my face and then started to destroy my appearance until there would be nothing pretty left. Eyes are important; they might be beautiful but that their main task is to provide you with a clear vision. The Dutch deny me to make beautiful photos because they don’t want me to have meaning in my life. Between 2003 and 2005 I made lots of pretty photos of buildings and streets in downtown Amersfoort (when there would be a cloudless sky) and then I put those photos online. I got so many visitors (some 300 visits each month), but that the Dutch government noticed and then denied me this website, because it made my life seem like one big vacation with sunshine which isn’t the case for most people. You can imagine how I feel about this country that did this to me. Because my eyes have become so bad that I wonder if I will ever be able to drive a car anymore, I fear glasses won’t help. I hate this country. I no longer belong here.

Aljo_

This is the Nikon D80 digital SLR. It was released only a few months ago, so it is still kind of expensive. Still if I ever want to buy me a digital camera it would be this one! Due to my failing health I am no longer able to go out and make pictures. The digital compact I am using now, with which I made over 6,500 photos in four years is producing great pictures too. But the D80 is a semi professional camera. It is my desire to photograph for magazines and websites, free lance or something. Like how popular my Amersfoort website was when I still made photos for it. Before my failing health forbid it. Photography is so much fun to spend time on. And good equipment results in high quality images. The more photos you make the more experience you gain, the better your photos get! It is almost impossible to make good pictures with a bad camera, but a good camera doesn’t necessarily make good pictures.

Aljo_

Check out my forum at: http://forum.aljo-online.com People from all over the world registered themselves as members. There are several categories and lots of people are reading my texts on my forum.

Aljo_

These days I am allowed to listen to an all Dutch radio station only. They are called 100%NL and I don’t appreciate a lot of the music that they are playing. I can no longer listen to Radio538 (which is Holland’s biggest radio station, which plays the global hitmix) because they are making sure I won’t listen to them. I feel this has to do with the fact that I still am so America oriented. I don’t appreciate Dutch culture and society. For instance I have viewed almost no Dutch TV since 2003, I simply don’t like it! And that I now no longer want to listen to Dutch radio anymore either. So the Dutch are forcing me to listen to all Dutch radio. Luckily I can still listen to American and Australian radio over the Internet! I can understand that the Dutch don’t like the fact that I have shed my Dutch identity, but they deliberately teased me away from Dutch radio in 1983. After 1983 I only listened to American military radio (AFN) and only because the Americans left in 1994 I am listening to Dutch radio again. If AFN had still been here I wouldn’t even listen to Dutch radio. 100%NL does play some nice music but 25% of the songs they play insult me and hurt my feelings, so I often switch them off. I am sure hoping there will come a time that people listen to radio stations from all over the world via the Internet. Dutch radio isn’t good to me, because they cannot stand the idea that I listened to AFN for over 10 years. I need to leave this country for good! This is something the Dutch Government cannot accept so they are trying to brainwash me into being Dutch again, and I find that wrong because the Dutch ruined my love life and denied me a Masters Degree. Dutch culture simply isn’t my home. My home is 50% Dutch 40% American and 10% Australian, this isn’t like The Netherlands is to the Dutch. I am happy in an English speaking environment and hate the Dutch for denying me my freedom. Do I make sense?

Aljo_

Many years ago, when I was in love with a girl in a shop in downtown Amersfoort, I ran into my clergyman, so I said ‘hello’, and he made a comment about my love for this girl. Later I realized it was a big insult. Because I no longer attended church but didn’t go out either, and that now at age 40 I understand that the Dutch would only let me be with a woman if I were behaving like a devout Christian. Like how I would have to baptise my children and raise them into a Christian lifestyle. This wasn’t on my mind back then. I am wondering today if all my three chronic health conditions were only done to me to manipulate the world into a more religious lifestyle. That when people left the church en masse in the 1980s that the church denied me my love life in order to force all these non believers back into church 20 years later. This is the truth I am afraid. I read in our church magazine about the question: “Who is the boss in church?” I find this evident: The Dutch Prime Minister or The Dutch Queen! Okay, I could go on and on about this, but this information should be enough. If my clergyman knew in 1996 that I was in love with this girl, then why did she go for some other guy while everybody knew I wanted her and that back then I still looked good?

Aljo_

Here is a shot from the place where I live in downtown Amersfoort. There were two or three cranes right behind the steeple of the St Aegtenkapel. Wouldn’t know what they are doing there, or exactly where they are building.

Aljo_

Today I planned to read in my computer science book and ride an hour on my home trainer. Now it is almost 18:00 CET and I have done neither. Okay my PC gave me some trouble. But that isn’t the reason why I haven’t done anything I wanted yet. I feel that there is someone in my mind who controls my thinking process and who steers me away from the things I want to do. This gets me so furious, because I am lacking basic freedom! On the other hand, if I had a job or a family or both then I wouldn’t be free to do everything I wanted either. I place my difficulties in this mindset that they are only to teach me to have obligations. I don’t know what positive effect the Dutch Government plans to create by making me crippled. I wonder if the Dutch will ever let me be with a woman I like, and if – due to all my health difficulties – I will ever be able to live a ‘normal’ life. I am so convinced that there is someone else who makes decisions on my mind. The point is every sane individual has a profile which manages how – like in which order – that person performs certain tasks. In my case there is someone else who determines this. This has to do with how I am unable to anticipate decisions. Like I can establish that I encountered a problem, but then don’t have the freedom to think through how to solve this problem. Probably because the Government wants my mind to be idle all the time. If you told this story to a shrink he would think you were very psychotic. Personally I am thinking of biological warfare, as a cause for my problems. What do you think?

Aljo_

After 1983 I only listened to American military radio, because I had been teased away by Dutch radio. In 1994 the local American radio transmitter went off the air. Only in 1999 I started to listen to Dutch radio again. In 1985 when I was 19 years old Phil Collins scored a hit with ‘Easy Lover’. At the time I was in love with a female American military radio presenter and that this song made me realize that certain people who could would never let me be with an American military woman. The unfairness of this situation is that the Dutch kept all girls I would like away from me. So I focussed on country music, about 60 to 80 % of all albums I have are country. Most country songs I know are accompanied by memories of American military radio. I never liked Phil Collins mainly because of his ‘Easy Lover’ hit. These days after the Americans left I am forced to listen to Dutch radio again and that I feel these radio stations are still hurting my feelings. This all has to do with the fact that these radio stations are on the side of Phil Collins while I am on the side of American country music. I listen to Dutch radio but I don’t like the music they are playing. Some 4 months ago there was a new Dutch radio station launched, they only play Dutch artists, and I am experiencing how the Dutch force me to listen to this radio station. They play so many Dutch songs which are hurting my feelings that I am not enjoying their shows. Luckily the Americans realize how much I care for them, so they provide me with songs I do like. In ‘Easy Lover’ Phil Collins and Phillip Bailey sing: “She’s an easy lover – you’ll never get it”. This perfectly explains how people in Europe who can deny me a love life probably because I am affiliated with the Americans. The Europeans kept all girls I would like away from me. In fact in university I saw hardly any females at all. Due to the work load and lack of friends I didn’t go out to meet girls. I feel all my adult life the Dutch government sabotaged my social life and my love life and when they realized I wanted to become an Australian that they took my health away. As I am writing this I feel how scared the Dutch government must be of me, because I’ve got quite a few powerful friends. And I am still hoping for an American fiancée. I hate The Netherlands and its music and its radio stations.

Aljo_

Last night I phoned Australia with SkypeOut. (This means that you can call a regular phonenumber over VoIP with your PC, and that it costs only 2 eurocents per minute.) I talked on the phone with my aunt for 35 minutes and it cost me only some 60 eurocent! The quality of the connection was good. I used an USB microphone to talk into and the speakers of my PC to receive audio. So my aunt complained that she heard an echo so I lowered the volume of my speakers. We agreed to call again next week. Skype worked better than I expected!

Aljo_

I feel The Netherlands Government deliberately took my health away from me by giving me three chronic diseases which force me to live like a handicapped or a senior citizen. Like how one cartoon in my newspaper refers to me as ‘grandpa’. Of course it is nice to live in the shelter with assistance for any problem you might encounter. But of course the Dutch only want me to live in the shelter because they are denying me my freedom of self determination. That is why I hate this country. And that I feel the Government cannot get away with this. Because they control me telepathically they are able to make me experience emotions to control my decision process. I don’t listen – as much as I used to – to foreign streams on the Internet, because when I am not listening to Dutch radio I feel fear of losing the girl I am in love with. As if Dutch radio has got any control over the fact that the girl I am in love with is with me or not. I mean even The Netherlands biggest radio station was all over me for years, yet they weren’t able or willing to secure my love interest. I hate The Netherlands so much, that I am wondering if a government in some other country – like for instance Australia – would also take my freedom away like the Dutch Government did in my case. I need to leave this country if I want to enjoy my life and make it meaningful, because the Dutch will never set me free. And I hate them for that!

Aljo_