Aljo-Log

Archive for April, 2008

I feel there are people who can make me experience mental stress, this has to be caused by some form of telepathy. When I switch on Dutch radio I feel pressure, I cannot detach myself from these emotions and that I reckon there are Dutch people, people who probably work for a mental hospital,  who in fact are making sure I cannot listen to Dutch radio. This hospital is like a nuclear power station. These people love to experiment with their patients, that they use their patients as objects to manipulate society. When you are a mental patient, chances are you will get other types of conditions, for which there is no other explanation than that such conditions were done to you because the people who treat your mental condition needed you to get – for instance – a heart condition because they wanted to use you as a heart patient. This is crazy but I think it is the truth that certain mental health care professionals get you other types of health conditions, and that they pick you for this condition because you already are a mental patient. This gets me very upset. I became a mental patient because the Dutch authorities no longer tolerated me to listen to American military radio. While years before Dutch radio had teased me away. American military radio had become my home. I hate the Netherlands for denying me my life in freedom, and that I cannot wait to leave here for some other country. Unfortunately the Dutch deny me my independence by making  my caring for myself almost impossible. The Dutch simply deny me to care for myself, because they are using me to manipulate society. This does have a high priority I guess, but my life is going to hell, and I am not going to sit here and wait until my life has become completely impossible. I cannot understand that Dutch government Ministers and the Queen – who must know about this project – simply let these people do this to me. This has been going on for over 20 years, and that it only started because I had fallen in love with an American military woman! This is your typical mental health nightmare lots of people suffer from, that your sanity was taken away deliberately and because of political reasons.

Aljo_

In 1987 I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. Now over 20 years later I realize that this condition was deliberately done to me by the Netherlands government to be able to influence society and the relational situation between males and females in particular. When I was between ages 20 and 30 none of my friends had girlfriends. After all these years I realised this was for a reason. My shrink spent years shaping me to be the kind of person he wanted me to be and making me bald in the process. In 1998 I got a pacemaker and that I feel this was only needed to be used as spurs on a horse. That the Dutch wanted to be able to stop me or punish me or correct me at any particular place and time if they wanted. To make sure I would no longer be free they gave me a muscle disorder which makes my legs so weak that I can no longer get back on my feet anymore when I fall in the street. My heart condition is scaring me often so I no longer dare to go outside and that I figure that the Dutch treat me as some kind of criminal in a correctional facility. Society is being corrected and I am the means by which the authorities do so. I don’t care I want to become an Australian. I no longer listen to Dutch radio; I no longer view Dutch TV, most days I don’t have a clue as to what is going on in this country. I saw a TV commercial on Dutch TV and that it was about a pregnant woman who talked about borrowing. As it is I only borrow from the Australian government to get in there. But that should the Dutch want to give me the Dutch love I want, then I wouldn’t mind borrowing from the Dutch, but only because they have one specific thing I want which I cannot buy with my own resources. I mean I am a mental and a heart patient, there is no way I could start a family. But that the Dutch might be able to undo what they have deliberately done to me. The Dutch deliberately made my life impossible, and that they treat me as if I am some criminal. That they spent 10 years making me bald and unattractive. I really no longer care for The Netherlands; I feel I have a legitimate reason for this.

Aljo_

I notice lately clearly what I had suspected for a long time. There are people who can control my mind and body and they are using some form of telepathy to achieve this. That for instance my hands start to obey someone else and that I went like: “I don’t want to do this.” But that my hands simply couldn’t be stopped by my own mind. Try explaining this to a shrink. He wouldn’t even want to consider your claim. Because suppose there really are people remotely controlling me, then I am not ill then I don’t need a Doctor but a Judge or at least a policeman, or some secret agent man. This is my current situation.

Aljo_

I am not free to do with my life what I want. This is a mental jail, my thinking process is simply not free. Doctors will say: “It is a mental condition”, and they will prescribe medication to keep you sane. This has been going on for 20 years and that I have come to the conclusion that my mental condition is in fact not an illness but the result of some deal between the Dutch government and a foreign intelligence organization. I think that in the 1950s in The Netherlands there must have happened some super natural phenomenon and that people discovered it and tried to get a hold on it. This is the reason why I am a mental patient. I shout often: “Set me free Balkenende!” (Mr Balkenende is the Dutch Prime Minister). It is so frustrating not to be able to control yourself and that you have to face the fact that all your days go by without them being of any use to you. I am simply not free to control my mind, and that certain people don’t want me to live in freedom, so they hold me hostage. PM Balkenende must know the truth but that he isn’t able to do anything about it. This makes me think: “If I will ever get out of this mess, I will move to Australia!” You cannot take 20 years away from someone’s life. Only because there are people who think you are their messiah. Belinda Carlisle sings: “We’ll make heaven a place on Earth.” If that were possible would it be something we would want? Isn’t heaven something for after your life is over? On ZDF is a presenter for big TV shows whose name is: Thomas Gottschalk, and that his surname means: ‘God’s Folly’. Maybe there are people who noticed that God has mistakenly left open the back door of heaven and that these people wanted to get in! If this is the truth, then PM Balkenende might not be able to set me free. But that doesn’t mean that certain people should be allowed to hold me hostage ‘mentally’. I can understand that our PM is not out to start some big fight to liberate me, and that as a consequence I am not able to do with my life what I want.

Aljo_

I exercised often this month. And the last couple of days I felt better. But tonight I started to try to enjoy my life by reading a novel and from out of nowhere – my heart is hurting again. Just like my beauty my happiness is being denied to me. I am only allowed to live like a zombie, and life and freedom are being denied to me. Why? Maybe because I wanted another woman than the woman certain people had picked for me. As it is I didn’t get to interact with any girls at all, other than a Jive, a Cha Cha or a Tango. Intimacy – like kissing – was always denied to me when I was young and now I am over 40. So I fell in love with an American military woman, whom should have been only a temporary ‘love’ interest. But I fell in love and now 20 years since I met her in person, she still feels close. Maybe she wasn’t married and that she had to tell me she was married – only to have a plausible reason why we couldn’t be together. This heartache for which I have a pacemaker is such a major injustice. Robbie Williams sings: “They poisoned you with compromise.” and “When the truth dies very bad things happen.” Maybe I was poisoned to get this heart condition. Or maybe I really am in the After Life. Nobody told me the truth so I can only speculate. I do know that I want to become an Australian, and that my patience with the Netherlands is wearing thin. My life in freedom and good health is being denied to me, just like my intelligence and my beauty. I want out, period. And I mean out of this country for the rest of my life.

Aljo_

The Dutch government wants me to start anew with my life. As if I have any prospects! I have three health conditions which make my life near impossible. I feel I want to be like how I was in the early 1990s when the Americans were still here and when I was happy. The Dutch ruined my life and that they actually expect me to forget about it. My mental condition which has had such a major impact on my life isn’t an illness, this condition was done to me to control me and in the process get control of society. The fact that often my mind and also my hands, arms and feet don’t obey me isn’t an illness, this is controlled. And these people – like the Dutch – don’t give a damn about me. The Dutch can’t set me free so they withdraw and let the people who do control me do with me what they want. As a mental patient you don’t stand a chance. I really want to become an Australian, but that with my pacemaker I don’t stand a chance to do so either. It is not like as if Australia wouldn’t want me, they do want me! For real. Or how about my love life, I want Eveline but that I cannot even do my own grocery shopping. I did hear a radio advert today on Dutch radio and it was about Sun Microsystems, I decided 10 years ago that should I not be allowed to be with Eveline that then I would go for an American woman and forget about Dutch women all together. Sun Microsystems could get me an American wife. So should I agree to part with the past, I will become a real American. As it is I feel like a Prisoner Of War, and that there is nothing the Netherlands government has done about it. The Americans trained me, paid me and spent quality time with me. The Dutch are pathetic; I am not interested in them.

Aljo_

I dreamt last night that I was in Chicago and stayed with Darren Wiley and Tammy Bogard. Darren worked for AFN Soesterberg in the early 1990s and Tammy was a guard at the American gate of Soesterberg AB also in the early 1990s. I asked them if we could make a photo of me in a spot specifically native to Chicago.

Aljo_

I feel that because I am a mental patient that Doctors use me for medical and social experiments. Next to my mental condition I have a heart condition and a muscle disorder. I figure these illnesses were done to me for some reason, which could be that this is needed for social reasons or for instance because I don’t work for a living. The Dutch don’t allow me to live my life as if it is one long vacation and for this reason they gave me these extra medical conditions so that I would no longer be free. Of course I find this very wrong. I could work for the US Government but that the Dutch don’t want me to be some big shot holding some big job, in another country! This was precisely the reason why I was kicked off university. I was turned into a mental patient because the Dutch denied me a Masters Degree. This makes sense, but taking my freedom (of thought) away from me is a totally different matter. I no longer want to be Dutch, I want to be an Australian. The Dutch see me as property, this is so wrong, but understandable. Now that the Netherlands government is putting so much emphasis on how our society should be. I am ideal for them to use to manipulate society, this is the reason for my medical problems. I find it only logical that I am not loyal to this country, our government is out of bounds. They make me sacrifice things only for their own purpose and ruining my life in the process!

Aljo_

My love interest is called Eveline. But we aren’t seeing each other. My problem is my failing health, due to my heart condition I cannot even walk 250 meter to the local supermarket. How am I ever going to be with my love? The point is my heart condition is remotely controlled, I think that there are people who can make my heart hurt. It was promised to me that next year I will be able to be with Eveline. Even though I feel the Dutch their envy about our relationship. I wanted to get a pretty girlfriend and I got a pretty girlfriend! I think I was poisoned to go bald, that when I first got my heart problem in 1998 that they gave me a medication in the hospital which made my beard heavy and my head bald. The Dutch cannot stand it that I have ties to all three American Presidential candidates. So they boycott my love life. President Bush Sr once said on CNN: “Fight fair damned (and not hit below the waist!)” The Americans need me, and the Dutch don’t accept me being in American employment. The people of my hometown don’t want me and Eveline together. That these people know me from the 1980s and consider me to be their enemy. Someone who has the power is making us wait to get together, and that if this is done by a Dutch person either the Queen or the Prime Minister would be to blame! I have a problem with the fact that I don’t have free will. I cannot do with my mind and body what I would want, myself. I could have called Eveline, but that there are people who can remotely stop me from doing so. Our love dates back to the Clinton administration!

Aljo_

It seems as if my mind has been confiscated by the Dutch. That I am totally unable to think, anticipate and remember. Because if I were free to control my ´own´ mind I would use it for some academic programming project. Which is something the Dutch envy me to do. When I am trying to think to understand something technical my mind times out and my thoughts are being blocked so I start to shout out of frustration, and I learned that my shouting was in fact borrowing to use my own mind. So these days I no longer shout and accept the fact that I am simply not free to use my mind for whatever I want to do with it, myself. While psychiatrists keep stating that my inability to think freely is a symptom of my mental illness. Which is an insult. I cannot ride a bicycle because my mind refuses to obey me, I cannot interact with the traffic and that this has got nothing to do with delusions or even worse phenomena. I find all this very unfair and that all this does not seem to be over any day soon. So I have to accept that I am not allowed to think according to my own free will? While this is deliberately done to me. Hell no, I am not going to let these Dutch bastards do this to me!

Aljo_