Aljo-Log

Archive for October, 2008

There are several people causing thoughts on my mind. But that these people deny Aljo his own thoughts, that when Aljo tries to think himself that his thoughts are changed. This is no illness, this is a controlled process. It is very frustrating that for years there are people who are in fact sabotaging Aljo’s thinking process. This means that I am not living according to my own free will. I shout often “Set My Mind Free!!!” Shrinks don’t believe that this is deliberately done to me, but then how naive can one be? I am so angry, because when I look at some text be it in a book or on my computer screen that these people can in fact edit this information before it arrives in my consciousness. When I read a book about programming I cannot even remember the information contained on one page! This is because these people deny me this. These people want me to become physically tired and deny me any academic activity. While my body has become so weak that I cannot even walk 350 meters to the local super market. I cannot understand that the Dutch government is letting these people do this to  me. This is not right!

Aljo_

For years I am listening to foreign radio via the Internet, because I like them better than Dutch radio. These radio stations are so flattered by the fact that I listen to them, that they pampered me. But that the Dutch government noticed how popular I am in Ontario. While the Dutch were trying very hard to take away the last bits of my popularity in The Netherlands. So what the government did was they contacted the Australian and Canadian governments to tell them these foreign radio stations were no longer allowed to treat me well. As if the Dutch government has got any right to do this to me! But then I know a lot about international diplomacy and the fact that the country which provides you your passport owns you! I don’t think that American radio stations would be susceptible for orders from Europe that they couldn’t let me enjoy their radio station. The Americans would say: “Set our little buddy free, you bastards!” I am going to search for more American radio stations I could listen to next to the three or four I already know. The Dutch only have themselves to blame, they deliberately turned me into an outcast and now I am no longer interested in The Netherlands. I haven´t viewed any Dutch TV in over 5 years! While Dutch television is referring to me almost every day! I feel they don´t have the right to do this to me. My failing health makes my life impossible and that I feel I should get the opportunity to immigrate to Australia. Love under new management, as the song from the 1980s says.

Aljo_

When I was admitted to this local mental hospital back in 1998, there were two nurses there. They were Marjolein and Ingrid. Marjolein had dark hair and Ingrid was blond. Even though I liked Marjolein I opted for Ingrid. This choice led to my complete baldness, because – from how I understand it now – Marjolein stood for a Dutch girlfriend, while Ingrid meant an American girlfriend. It makes perfect sense to me that the Dutch took my scalp when I chose an American fiancée even though the local Americans had left 4 years before 1998. The point is that the American women I used to know were more friendly than Dutch girls I had known. Take for instance pop singers: Kelly Clarkson, Rihanna and P!nk they are all bitching. Why? Because they were inspired by Dutch women and because Dutch females don’t want to be partners with a guy on  his conditions. Because of past experiences I no longer considered Dutch females as potential partners. There was this Dutch radio personality who called her boyfriend her ‘tamer’. Dutch women know they have to give up their wildness if they want to be with a male, but that Dutch females have a problem with this. On Canadian radio they described Dutch women like: “You’re in, you’re out, you are on your way.” That Dutch women want to have sex, but that they really aren’t interested in such males. So if you want a Dutch female don’t be eager! Play as a guy on the side. But then of course this situation sucks. And my love for American women, because Dutch females boycotted me, resulted in my getting bald. To me this shows that my love for these American women was for real. I am sure they tried to save my hair but couldn’t. My generation was deliberately fucked up because the authorities couldn’t accept that they all left the church. Now we are a whole generation further, and the authorities didn’t accomplish anything but misery. Let’s face it, there are countries where relationships are better than here! No need to have your pride hurt over it, it is a plain truth!

Aljo_

I can no longer go outside due to my heart condition. Doctors don’t want to call it Agoraphobia because they don’t want to cure my Agoraphobia, because the Dutch authorities deny me my freedom. The point is my debilitating heart condition was done to me to give some Dutch female control over my heart rhythm. That basically the Dutch wanted to give Dutch females a stick to hit me with. My only way to get over my Agoraphobia would be to have sex with the woman the Dutch want me to have sex with. I am not kidding here. If I were free I would immigrate to Australia or Colorado, which is something the Dutch don’t allow me to do. While of course this would be totally legal. The idea alone that there is one woman – with whom I don’t want to have sex – who is in fact causing my Agoraphobia because the Dutch gave her control over this health concern of mine to make sure I will experience fear while walking outside. How do you think this would make me feel about this country? I don’t belong in The Netherlands, because these people ruined my life, but that they lack the integrity to let me go and leave. And in the mean time I have been forced to remain inside for three years because this woman is my pimp, and by now I have four significant health concerns which totally take my freedom away. Which was done to me because the Dutch authorities couldn’t stand the truth that I liked the American women I knew better than the Dutch women I knew. Fucking bastards.

Aljo_

I am almost 43 years old and that I have never been free to live my life according to my own free wil. I feel the Netherlands government is denying me a free life, because they use me for some purpose which is incompatible with me living my own life. I feel the Netherlands government is stealing time from me. This gets me really upset, this is a gross abuse of power. I have been wondering what I would really want to do with my life should I regain control of it. I might agree to stay in The Netherlands and be hired by some American IT company, or I might throw in the towel and go for an immigrant visa for Australia. People actually deny me my popularity and are making me pay for attention, while I am not at all interested in being a public figure. I think the mental health care professionals deliberately ruined my looks so now I am very unattractive. These people knew exactly what and how they did to me what they did. I feel this justifies me desiring to immigrate to Australia, the Dutch denied me the life I could have gotten. They did this to me on purpose! I feel they cannot get away with it. Because the Netherlands government stimulated the locals to gossip about me for over 20 years. Which made my life totally impossible. Girls I knew didn’t want anything to do with me because everybody was always talking about my love life, and that these girls only wanted me when I was up, while in the mean time they would be with other boys who were anonymous, because they needed a love life. This is why I never had a love life. Only after I had committed myself to some girl they started to offer me alternatives, while I had made my decision. You would think that the government would be susceptible to reason and set me free after age 40, but they cannot stand the idea that I would finally be free to live my own life. These people want to keep me a zombie for years to come, and I feel they don’t have the credit to do so. For shrinks and other doctors it is oh so easy to delay and steal time, because they are free to live their own lives. Except the Dutch cannot accept what I’d do being free. They knew they were ruining my life and that I wasn’t a real mental patient. I find it only logical for me to turn away from anything Dutch, because they are the main reason for my problem. Set Me Free Prime Minister Balkenende!!!

Aljo_

I bought a book about OpenGL, it is titled: ‘OpenGL  SuperBible’, by Wright, Lipchak and Haemel. This book is 1204 pages, so it can teach me all I need to know about programming the OpenGL Graphics Interface. Today I produced this picture of a simple jet like object. This particular picture is dealing with lighting and material properties. Like how light of a certain color will be reflected off a surface of a certain color. I will need to read this chapter a couple of times more before I will understand it, but the code works. This is a lot of fun!

Aljo_

I cannot listen to Dutch radio, these radio people are making sure of that. So I listen to Canadian, American and Australian radio which I absolutely love. But I am still in The Netherlands physically, so the local Dutch are making me feel homesick when I am listening to foreign radio. Then I switch my Dutch radio on again only to switch it off again within 30 minutes. All this really convinces me that I need to leave the Netherlands for good.

Aljo_