Archive for June, 2009
My Pacemaker.
The reason why I have a pacemaker now is because the Dutch authorities had established that I wasn’t going to cooperate with them where the treatment of my mental condition was concerned. Tonight my right shoulder where my pacemaker is located feels numb and it frightens me a little bit, even though there is nothing I can do about it. The point is these Dutch mental health care providers manipulate my heart rhythm so when I do or think something they disapprove of my heart starts to beat out of control which is really scary. It comes down to me being denied my freedom. On Dutch TV was a public service message that I have got nothing to complain about, except that according to me humans weren’t intended to be like monkeys in a zoo. This pacemaker was deliberately done to me and I am wondering who did it and why.
Aljo_
Mood Swings.
Since a couple of days I am experiencing feelings of depression caused by thoughts about the injustice the Dutch are subjecting me to since the 1980s. I cannot run, if I wanted to, because these Dutch authorities made sure I would not be able to go anywhere anymore. I am angry, very angry that the Dutch refuse to set me free to control my own destiny. The Dutch force me into the role of a young boy – for which I am too old - and a devout Christian, while this is brain washing or indoctrinating. These mental health care providers know that the truth as they convey it to me isn’t the real truth at all. Reality about my situation is totally different than these people say it is. My life is over, I will never be free again, this is understood by these mental health care providers as a sign of weakness so they moved in for the kill so that I will accept their version of the truth over what I think is the truth about my situation. I hate The Netherlands so much, because the Dutch effectively chained me to a pole so there is nowhere I can go. My freedom, the ability to think, my beauty and a lot of time were deliberately taken away from me! What do you think? Should these people be held accountable even if they are the Netherlands government?
Aljo_
M.J. R.I.P.
Only the good die young…
Cartoon by Bill Leak from The Australian.
Aljo_
Manipulation.
It is so clear to me there is someone who is erasing my short and long term memory and manipulating my decision making process at the same time. This gets me so furious because nobody who knows me is willing to consider this as being the truth. Because it is much easier to simply qualify me as a mental patient. I am not a patient, I am a victim of a – probably government sponsored – crime. I think this has to do with the church that the Dutch intended to use me to force youths back into the church again and that for this reason these people caused my smoking addiction and resulting ugliness. How I am no longer in control of my own life because it is being denied to me. This is no illness! This is done to me by people who want and who can get me into this situation. How my beauty was like an inconvenient truth to the Dutch, so they took my good looks away from me, and nobody is ever going to punish them for this. It is probably important to the Dutch, but my life is going to hell.
Aljo_
‘Ich Kann Kanzler.’
Yesterday evening the final of the ‘Ich kann Kanzler’ competition was on ZDF. The idea is that youths between ages 18 and 35 applied for an opportunity to be ‘Prime Minister’ of Germany. In this final 6 candidates 4 male 2 female battled it out who would be the best person to hold this prestigious job. It was fun to see how candidates had to explain their proposals for policies to improve Germany. Also four of these candidates had their photo taken and to be put up on an election poster with which they had to collect signatures from the general public. That was fun. In the end an 18 year old called Jacob Schrot won this competition by a landslide.
Aljo_
Lack Of Independence.
I remember how in university everything in math needed to be personally explained to us, because me and my fellow students couldn’t understand it, probably because we had to perform as if we were 4th year students, while we were only in our first year. Math in university is hard that makes perfect sense! But looking back I feel that the people in charge of the university denied me to independently solve problems. Now 20 years later I am still confronted with the fact that solving problems by myself is denied to me. For instance when I am trying to do some programming that I cannot think about it, my mind simply blocks because I need to talk it over with someone else who is also on this project. I am not in university I do all studying by myself and when my freedom of thought is denied to me again then I start to curse and shout about it, because there are people deliberately doing this to me. The people who control me want me to embarrass myself to people exposed to my anger. After blowing off steam I can make some progress with my programming project again. All this makes me realize how badly I have been indoctrinated and brainwashed over the years to not be in control of my own mind. Still all these shrinks keep on referring to my condition as an illness. Illness has got nothing to do with my mental condition! My thinking process has been conditioned to their wishes! Something shrinks consider impossible, while this is real enough for me…
Aljo_
No Cure.
My shrink says he cannot cure me. I wonder he must have figured out the truth about my situation after all these years. I am wondering who caused the ‘melt down’ of my brain, because this must have been done to me on purpose. The way to cure me is to make sure that other people no longer can cause thoughts on my brain, which could be of big help when you are studying in a university. On the other hand, this phenomenon for me had a negative effect on my studying ability. In the end you need to live your own life and make your own decisions. Something I haven’t been able to do for decades. I feel so manipulated.
Aljo_
Practical Telepathy.
Telepathy is something shrinks don´t even want to talk about because they were taught that telepathy doesn´t exist. Unfortunately I am totally convinced that there are people other than myself who are in fact generating thoughts and causing decisions on my own mind where I have got nothing to do with. I once knew this female who had a brain tumor removed from her head, and that I reckon this must have hurt. My problem is that the government denies me the freedom to use my mind for thinking thoughts freely according to my own interests. I reckon that whenever I try to read a book about programming or try to program my PC that I get to experience this woman´s pain, which results in me instantly stopping to think all ‘complicated’ thoughts. This has been going on since 1992 and that I find this a government sponsored crime. The government doesn´t have the right to deny me freedom of thought for over 15 years. Shrinks are never going to admit to me that this is the truth. At the same time it is clear for me that I am not responsible for any bad decision I made or bad thing in retrospect I might have done, because other people were controlling my thinking process. I hate The Netherlands for doing this to me.
Aljo_
Wanted: Alone And Lonely.
I suspect the Netherlands government is making sure I am alone and that they are wishing I am lonely at the same time. How I have been socially isolated for decades. Which wasn’t hard to do after they turned me into a mental patient. I realize the Dutch are doing this for a reason that they hope it will have a positive effect on Dutch society. I am over age 40 I should get the opportunity to determine how to live my life myself. Unfortunately the Dutch don’t seem to give a damn about my interests. I still wish I could immigrate to Australia.
Aljo_
Bedürftig.
Due to my weak legs and pacemaker I am unable to care for myself. Lately I feel that the Netherlands government deliberately took away my ability to care for myself. I don’t even control my own thinking process. But this is no illness, except Dutch health care providers don’t want to consider the truth that my good health was deliberately taken away from me, because they cannot admit that they deliberately made me ill. This situation makes me kind of angry, because even though it is nice to live the life of an adolescent I am getting older all the time like everybody else. My good looks are gone too and that this was done to me because I was programmed to want to be with a pretty female, whom I wouldn’t meet because I didn’t have any friends to go out with, because the Netherlands government socially isolated me. So I don’t meet (and never have met) any women I like anyway. Truth is I am single at age 43 because the Dutch government wanted to use me to prove a point and they couldn’t care less about the fact that I wouldn’t have a normal love life or any love life for that matter. The Netherlands government planned 25 years ago that at age 43 I would be single, lonely and unattractive. It doesn’t matter what I have and haven’t done during the past two decades, the Dutch didn’t set me free to live my own life anyway. I hate The Netherlands.
Aljo_