Aljo-Log

Archive for July, 2009

My legs have become so weak that I simply fall over when I get a little bit off balance. So then I fall and can not get back on my feet by myself anymore. This has to do with a condition where my muscles are self destructing when they are being used. I have seen a lot of medical doctors for this condition and none of them could tell me just what illness this was. That I am basically the only patient in Western Europe with this condition. At the same time I notice how I am no longer free to use my brain and that I am recently wondering if there is a correlation between my cramped legs and my lack of freedom to use my mind. It wouldn’t surprise me if my weak legs are needed by the  authorities who control me to force me in the mindset they want. That my legs start to hurt when I am trying to think about programming or any other topic the Dutch envy me to think of. That the Dutch deny me a life like one big vacation and that they deliberately hurt my health to occupy me. That living with my health conditions requires as much effort as holding a job. A job the Dutch didn’t want me to have. The Dutch basically deny me my freedom. Because nobody is free, nobody should start to doubt their freedom. As long as you have got a job, a car and a place to live that then you are free. All this on the conditions of the Netherlands government of course! How I was teased away by Dutch radio in 1983 and listened to American military radio all day after that. And I would still have listened to American military radio only hadn’t the Americans left in 1994. I shed my Dutch identity and that I am paying the price for this right now. I find this a crime by the Dutch authorities. These people would never have let me complete a Masters Degree and that my listening to American military radio is only an excuse for the Netherlands government to beat me up. I need to leave the Netherlands for the rest of my life. I no longer belong here. My legs hurt at this moment so the Dutch people who control me probably don’t approve of this message. Bastards.

Aljo_

My life is going bye as if it is ‘on hold’. I don’t have a love life because I am not free to do what I would want to do. My weak legs alone lock me down. This rider I have is making sure I am not able to make my own decisions. I feel certain people are doing this situation to me on purpose. Who would these people be? The Netherlands government? Senior Mental Health Care officials (with permission from the government)? It has become so clear to me that if I would want to control my own fate that I would need to immigrate to Australia, because these Dutch power people envy me my freedom and my happiness, they are never going to give to me what I would want. The Netherlands is no longer my home. I have become so unattractive and that this was also deliberately done to me. People don’t realize that this is possible. How the mental health care providers that I know all use telepathy to control me, sedate me. Basically disturb my thinking process so that I can no longer remember what I was trying to say, because this is a ‘pure’ thought. While shrinks deny telepathy is possible. I need to leave here. Even though the Dutch will never set me free to go. It has to do with how women in The Netherlands are unable to start a family and are no longer sexually active at a relatively young age. That the Dutch government is manipulating me so that this situation will change. My life is being sacrificed. I find this very wrong. Certain people already knew in 1983 that in 2005 I would be diagnosed with a muscle disorder mainly affecting my legs. This appears to me as being a deliberate act to hurt me! Just like how certain people knew in the early 1980s that I would not be with a girlfriend before age 32 which later got to be delayed by 10 years because I no longer was thinking about Dutch females but American female friends instead. Would you vote for a political party guilty of these 1984 ‘Big Brother Is Watching You’ practices? Because this is no health care issue this is politics. Even though all Dutch political parties in The Netherlands support my life going to hell. So it doesn’t really matter for me who will be the next Dutch Prime Minister.

Aljo_

I can clearly tell when reading a text I wrote where my rider intervened while I was writing such texts. Of course this could be lapses of concentration, but that it seems like as if my rider becomes active when Aljo is at his purest. That when Aljo is doing his own thinking that then his rider sabotages him. I am getting kind of angry about this. Freedom of Thought is Human Right #18. Bottom line is that I am being denied my freedom, and that I am wondering what the motive of the Netherlands government is to deny me my freedom. If this is because of me or if it is because of some  mission by the government.

Aljo_

I am wondering lately, I am convinced there is someone who is in fact generating thoughts on my brain. Frustrating and overruling my own thoughts. Who would be doing this to me? Like that new Green Day song: “Do you know your enemy?” What if my enemy made it into my mind? What if these mental health care providers are controlling my thinking process because they have orders/permission from the government? The permission to deny the truth, that I am not ill but being sanctioned. I think my shrink is riding me as if I were a horse, while officially he doesn’t even admit that this is possible. I hate The Netherlands these people treat me for health conditions I don’t have and at the same time they are unable to even diagnose health problems I do have! Because these Medical Doctors cannot deal with the truth, which is that my condition was caused by a hostile act. My health conditions were done to me for political reasons. How in university they didn’t approve of my love for this female American military radio presenter, while in our part of the university female students were very rare and that the Dutch government didn’t want me to be part of the student community. I feel this gives me the right to immigrate to Australia, even though this is no longer a ‘for real’ option. The Dutch deliberately gave me a hard time, maybe because I identified myself with the American military and not Dutch society. The Dutch took away my ability to care for myself, and therefore I will never be able to start my own family anymore, because this has been denied to me by The Netherlands government. This is why I no longer view Dutch television and mostly listen to foreign radio stations. I realize I will never get out of here anymore, and that my life will always feel like borrowed time. The Netherlands government doesn’t need the ability to control my thinking process, it could be that they want to make sure that other parties don’t control my thinking either. I only notice how I feel and experience The Netherlands differently compared to the locals, what they like I don’t appreciate at all. And what I like they don’t like. Doesn’t it make sense that I started looking for a country which is more like me? In English an ‘alien’ is someone with a different national background as your native country. I feel like an alien here…

Aljo_

PS Ontario Canada is a nice place to live, but that they have a lot of snow during winter.

This is a funny cartoon by Australian cartoonist Kudelka from The Australian.

It shows Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd giving away ice cream while the ‘debth truck’ rides by with the Opposition Leader behind the wheel.

Aljo_

When I was 13 years old I entered high school and got to become friends with a lot of new people. Lots of kids I knew were starting to develop an appreciation for the local American F-15 squadron. I know quite a few guys who cycled to Soesterberg AB every day after school to go spot aircraft. This squadron the 32nd was like our favorite soccer team. We were devoted fans. After the end of the Cold War the Americans left Soesterberg in 1994. I still miss their radio station regularly. Looking back I feel that the Dutch authorities monitored these kids and decided per individual what kind of punishment they should receive for denying their Dutch roots. Two of my closest friends got their first child at age 40. And as for me I am 43 years old and never even kissed a girl. Something I am wondering about is that things in America could be better than here. Had I not become a mental patient I probably would have immigrated to Australia. My medical situation isn’t an illness, it is punishment. I am being held captive, and that the Americans tried to free me, but failed because the local kids who weren’t into the 32nd did something resulting in the failure of this American attempt. I remember how in high school kids were  always gossiping about me – because certain people stimulated them, and that when I entered university that I had decided that I did not want to be in the lime light anymore. So the Dutch socially isolated and sabotaged me that I lost control over my own situation. As it is these days my mind is obeying someone else. My legs have become so weak that I can no longer get back on my feet by myself anymore when I fall in the street. I saw many Doctors about this, only to find out myself that it was probably caused by an overdose of the mediation I have to take for my mental condition. An overdose of 5mg for a period of 10 years can have this effect on your legs I reckon, and that worst of all these mental health care providers did this to me deliberately. Or how about my baldness, between 1989 and 1991 I smoked a lot of cigars, and that it turned my teeth off white. So when I went to university in 1992 and talked to a girl there, she noticed my teeth and she caused a bald spot on my head because my off white teeth were a ‘deal breaker’. I didn’t want to be at the university anymore anyway. I believe these mental health care providers did this teeth problem to me because in 1988 I went to Frankfurt am Main – Germany to visit the headquarters of American military radio and television in Europe. These Americans meant a lot to me, they were the friends the Dutch denied to me here in The Netherlands! I still care for the Americans I used to know, even though it is an inconvenient truth to the Dutch government. Is it legitimate for any government to punish your own people for having foreign idols and friends? I mean this is Western Europe…

Aljo_

Borders are intended to mark in which area your national laws and rules are being enforced. At the same time people realize that borders are intended to mark where their freedom ‘ends’. Like how outlaws in Texas used to flee to Mexico to be sure to escape justice. Lately I realize that I am not a Texan Outlaw at all, I obey all rules that are imposed on me, but that the Dutch authorities can’t stand my guts about what I do with my freedom within Dutch borders. It seems to me that the Dutch government denies me the freedom ‘normal’ people take for granted. I never had a girlfriend because these people are manipulating my thinking process, this is not warranted! Illness has got nothing to do with it, my illnesses are only needed to take my freedom away from me! Because I no longer went to church after I turned 18, and that the Dutch authorities couldn’t punish all those other young adults leaving the church, but that they could single me out and use me like a voodoo doll to act out their frustrations. I am kind of fed up with the Netherlands, I would want to leave for Australia, but that last week two foreign female friends of mine both told me that I can lead the life that I would want in The Netherlands too. So I got hopeful that I can be happy in this country.

Aljo_

Happy birthday America! Not that I ever will be visiting you, but I wish you all the best. In particular all Americans who I got to meet in person, I will not forget you. These days I am viewing to the East, only to realize just how many good memories I have of you: land of the free and home of the brave. I know how much The Netherlands meant to you and that you mean the same to us. Even though the world has changed. In high school this Dutch teacher said America didn’t have any culture, after all these years I conclude that he could not have been more wrong. I don’t know anything about American literature, but I do know that the American military has a lot of customs which translate into culture.

Aljo_