Aljo-Log

Lately I am wondering if there is a correlation between my inability to think freely and the fact that there are people trying with all measures they can to get people back into church again. As they say “Jesus works in people”. That in my situation certain people can totally take over my thinking process as if I were someone else. This is something only God could do, until some country discovered a way to enable people to do this too. How my mind doesn’t obey my soul, as if my soul’s place  has been taken over by someone else’s soul. The government of the Netherlands would try to save the church if they could. How we have a minister for family matters and youth. While when I was in my twenties none of my friends even had a girlfriend. Probably because the government denied us this and now we have a minister for this! As if the government doesn’t realize they sabotaged our relational situation for decades. This isn’t even funny. It are the pure thoughts like “I want to do this” which are being altered or erased from my mind. When Aljo tries to anticipate he needs to think pure thoughts which his rider won’t let him do, so I cannot anticipate at all. Random thoughts like “nice cup of coffee”, thoughts which could have been thought by other people than Aljo are in fact going ahead normally. When my rider is blocking my brain because I am trying to think pure thoughts it gets me so angry that I start to shout and curse as loud as I can. I find that the Netherlands government is committing a crime by denying me freedom of thought. I don’t care for what reason they are doing this. But it would make sense because mental health and religion do have a lot in common. That it is religion that determines what is normal and what isn’t. That I was no longer normal because I no longer attended church. I find this wrong. How during my studies at university I needed to confer with other students about how to do certain things because I couldn’t do it by myself because the Dutch denied me to be autonomous. As if I were like a woman in a relationship. The Netherlands government is stealing time from me! This is a government sponsored crime and much more serious than the Iran Contra situation when Reagan was President ever was. But then the government gets away with everything.

Aljo_